Lost
by Choctawfilly CK
Summary: The continueing story of the L Word after the season one ending. Bette and Tina. Dana and Alice. Kit and Ivan. Shane.


**DISCLAIMER:** All belongs to the Ilene Chaiken and Showtime.  
**ARCHIVING:** Only with the permission of the author.

**SPOILERS:** For season one.

**AUTHORS NOTE: **I started this story the night of the 1st season ender. I wanted something that made sense to me. I have revamped it a bit (rechecked spelling and grammar), but kept me the main story in place. I only changed a few things. I am reposting and reviewing at the urging of my stepdaughter. So here it is, warts and all.

**Lost**  
**By ****CK**

**Part 1**

Bette looked down at her hands. The ring. Their ring. Trust, honesty, love.... all poured into 7 years. She let the tears fall again. She sat in their living room on the couch, the room darkened by the shades; a picture of Tina lay next to her. The phone rang again; she listened as the machine picked up. There was still a small part of her that, after 3 days, still hoped Tina would call.

Beep. "Bette, it's me. Kit. This is like the 7th message today baby sis. We need to talk. Call me." Beep.

Nope not Tina. And why should she call? She deserves better than that. Bette looked down at the picture. Tina was laughing, her brown eyes bright, hair blown about her. Her heart ached. "I did this to myself."

"Did what dear?" A voice startled Bette back to reality. She looked up to find Peggy Peabody standing in her living room. She blinked.

"Mrs. Peabody..."

"Peggy." She started, a little annoyed. "I have been trying to reach you since the opening." She moved to the couch and sat down. "Nice place. A little dark." Peggy glanced around.

"Peggy, I..."

"Is this what I can expect from you if I offer another of my shows to you? That you disappear right after the opening?" She picked up the picture of Tina. "Not very professional of you. I've been calling the office and your boy there has done a very nice job of covering for you."

"I'm sorry." She said quietly. "I..." Bette shook her head softly. She was at a loss as to what to say.

"That's a move in the right direction." She studied the photo in her hand. "Is this the art you've gone out of town to see?"

Bette looked at the photo. "What? No. But that's why I haven't been at work." She gently took the photo from Peggy. "You're right about my not being professional. I should have been there to talk with you." She blinked back the tears, trying to put her professional face on.

"I understand you've had some personal problems." Peggy put a comforting hand on Bette's shoulder. "I was sorry to hear about your baby."

Bette couldn't stop the single tear that fell from her swollen eyes. "Thank you." She whispered. She looked at the photo and ran a finger along the side of Tina's face. "It was harder on Tina than me."

"Nonsense!" Peggy looked at her. "Because you weren't the one carrying? I don't buy that." Peggy Peabody had a way of making her feelings known. Like right now it was obvious she felt like Bette was full of it. "Look. You owe me lunch and I'd like it now. I have a new exhibit to talk to you about."

"Peggy, I..." Bette started, turning her swollen eyes up to Peggy's face.

"And I am not a woman who takes no for an answer." Peggy smiled at Bette. "But first you need a shower and to change. I'll wait here."

Before she knew it, Bette was up and on her way to the shower. She turned the corner and passed through the bedroom quickly. She couldn't look at the bed, still a mess from her and Tina's fight. She passed into the master bath and pulled the 3 day old clothes from her body and slipped into the hot, healing water.

Peggy walked the living room. It was a nice middle-class Los Angeles home. Pictures of Bette and Tina, friends of theirs and some lovely art work scattered about the house. "Nicely decorated." She said to herself. She wondered what exactly had this strong woman, who had crashed her hotel room not 4 months ago, in such a state. She liked Bette for so many reasons. And once Peggy Peabody likes you, you have a friend for life.

She walked out into the backyard. The pool looked warm, yet untouched. She wondered how much it was used. She surveyed the surroundings until her eyes met with a handsome young man's on the other side of the fence. She smiled. "Hello."

Tim smiled back. "Hi." He moved closer to the fence. He had heard through the grape vine that something had happened to Tina and Bette. "I'm Tim, the neighbor."

"Hello Tim the Neighbor. I'm Peggy Peabody." She walked to the fence and extended her hand. Tim took it and shook.

"Are Tina and Bette selling?" He asked.

"I'm not sure." Her eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"I thought you might have been the real estate agent." He said, now realizing he was wrong. "Have you seen Bette lately? There are a few people looking for her."

"Yes I have." She looked him over carefully and decided he was friend not foe. "Next time I see her, I'll tell her you're looking for her as well." She turned and headed back into the house.

Bette turned off the water and stepped out into the cool air of the bathroom. She pulled the towel close to her. She had to enter the bedroom to get something to wear. She wasn't sure she could.

"Bette, are you OK in there?" Peggy called, making her way towards the bathroom.

"Yes, I just need to get dressed." Bette called back. Trying to find strength in her tired body.

"That shouldn't be difficult." She said stepping into the bathroom. "Don't worry you have nothing I haven't seen before." Peggy could see the hesitation to enter the bedroom. "I know where we are going, so let me get your outfit while you dry your hair." She turned and walked into the bedroom. She saw the bed was a mess and there were clothes on the floor. She noticed a lovely blue dress, torn and lying on the floor. "Hmm." She moved to the closet and looked at what appeared to be Bette's clothes. She pulled a pair of khakis and a nice light weight white sweater. She pulled a pair of underwear and a bra and brought them to Bette, who had just finished her hair.

"Thank you." She said, a towel still tightly pulled to her. She took the clothes and Peggy left the bathroom.

"I'll meet you in the car." Peggy called.

"Okay." Bette said. She dressed quickly and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked slightly less than human. She tucked a curly lock behind her ear and hurried out of the house.

Before long, Bette and Peggy found themselves seated in a beautiful outdoor café. Bette looked over the menu. She hadn't felt hungry these last 3 days and had eaten nothing. But now, faced with well prepared food and the warm California sun, she was starved. Peggy could tell. "Have anything you like. You know I'm very wealthy."

Bette looked up and smiled softly. "That obvious huh?"

"Eat. Talk. Do what you feel." Peggy said before taking a sip of her water.

Bette ordered a large chef's salad and a very sweet dessert. "Thank you." She said after a few bites.

"It's my pleasure." She said. "So here's the price of lunch. I want you to handle a new exhibit for me."

Bette looked up from her salad, slightly surprised. "You want to offer the CAC your next exhibit?"

"That's not what I said." Peggy smiled. "But you can start with them if you'd like. I would leave all the decisions up to you." She took a drink of water. "I know you're under contract, my doing, but I think I can work it out with Franklin."

"Work what out?" Bette asked.

Peggy laughed. "Well, tell me Bette Porter what do you want? What's your next step?"

"Work for you?" She asked. She felt as though she were being talked to by a parent.

Peggy smiled. "That's about right. But you do have to finish off your time with the CAC. And my thinking was to put you in charge of one of my smaller shows and then when your contract is up... "

"And Gina?" Remembering the bitch that screwed her over.

"Out. I don't like her tactics." Peggy smiled as Bette fully comprehended the situation. "You can stay based here in LA. Anymore it's as much of a hot spot as New York or Paris. And that leaves you more time for the family you are working on."

Bette's face fell. Her family. What family? "That would be wonderful," was all she could manage.

"Now, my one request is that you get your personal life in order now. Before you and I get to the hard work." She smiled and put a comforting hand on Bette's. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

Bette had meant to keep it to herself. She was not someone who shared her dirty laundry with the world, but for some reason it all came tumbling out.

Shane and Dana stopped on the street and looked. "Are you sure about this?" Dana asked.

"Yeah. I don't need any ones help to get ahead." Shane said checking out the addresses. And she had decided she didn't need anyone, but her friends. They were the only ones who had stuck beside her. She didn't need Sheri or anyone else. It had taken two days of hard drinking and foggy thinking to decide that. She sighed. "What's with Beverly Hills? Why don't they put the addresses on the buildings?"

"Makes it too ugly." Dana said as her eye caught something. "Oh my God."

"What? You find it?" Shane asked following her gaze. "Whoa."

"Is that Bette?" Dana asked. Although it was obvious to them it was.

"Who's that? That can't be the carpenter." Shane said squinting.

Dana looked at Shane. "We saw the carpenter." She said flatly. She turned back to the restaurant. "This is an older woman."

Shane looked at the restaurant. "A rich older woman."

"Maybe it's business." Dana said, trying to convince herself. Then they saw the older woman place her hand on Bette's arm and they saw their friend smile.

"Fuck." Shane said kicking the ground. "What the hell is she doing?"

"I don't know, but we gotta give Alice a heads up." Dana said grabbing Shane's arm and pulling her towards the car.

"And she left." Bette said wiping away a tear. "And I haven't heard from her since."

"Do you know where she is?" Peggy asked.

"No. I'm afraid to call anyone, I'm sure they've heard something." Bette looked down at her salad. "I haven't even spoken to Kit."

"Kit?" Peggy asked.

"My Sister." She shook her head. "I should have spoken to her the last time she called."

"You're afraid?" Peggy shook her head. "You're ashamed, upset, embarrassed that you let yourself go like that. But not afraid. Not you."

Bette smiled. How did this woman understand her so well? "You're right."

"Of course I am." She leaned in. "You and I are cut from the same cloth." She whispered. "So what's your next move?"

"I'm not sure yet." She said before taking a bite of salad. She didn't know. But she did feel little stronger, thanks to the food and the talk.

"No." Alice said as quietly as she could. "Are you sure? Older women aren't exactly Bette's style."

"I'm just telling you what we saw." Dana said her head close to Alice. She bit back the sudden desire to kiss her dear friend. They'd had little chance to talk about the 4am kiss since the Tina and Bette thing broke. But the feelings were hard to ignore. She wondered if Alice felt the same.

Alice inhaled deeply. She had never really noticed how good Dana smelled before. Now every time they were together the scent was almost intoxicating. "An older woman with Bette in a fancy restaurant."

"I could go kick her ass." Shane said without thinking. Then she smiled. "Maybe I'd be the one with the ass kicking."

Alice and Dana laughed, at the thought of Shane vs. Bette and before they knew it, all three were laughing hysterically.

"Hey, what's so funny?" A dis-shelved Tina stood in front of them in a pair of Alice's pj pants and white tank.

Dana suddenly turned deer in headlights. She wasn't good in these situations. "Shane said something funny."

Shane looked at Tina and smiled. "Yeah you know me. A crack up a minute."

"I could use a good laugh." Tina said sitting on the couch. "What was it?"

"OH you'd have had to..." Shane started, not so sure she knew how to cover for this.

"It was this thing about..." Alice said.

"It was about B...bunnies." Dana said quickly.

Tina looked at them as if they had lost their minds. "Bunnies?"

Alice looked at Dana. "Yeah, the magazine wants me to do a story on cosmetic testing on bunnies and Shane said..."

"I should know about bunnies, I do it like one." Shane finished.

Tina nodded. "OK." She looked at her friends, her support system and shook her head. "I'm hungry anyone else?"

"Yeah I am." They all said at once.

"Great. I think I need to get out of the house. Let me clean up and let's get something." Tina stood and headed for the bathroom.

Alice, still looking at Dana. "Bunnies???"

"I couldn't think of anything else." Dana said defensively. "And bunnies can be funny."

"Only if you're another bunny." Alice shot back.

Tina stepped into the shower and sighed as the hot water washed over her. She tried to pretend it was washing away the pain and fear. She wanted to not think about what had happened, not think about Bette. She might as well try to live without breathing. She couldn't remember life without her. The tears sprung to her eyes and she knew, again she would cry herself out. She slid down the side of the shower until she was sitting on her heels. As she cried, she tried to remember she was more than just Bette's partner. More than just the woman behind the woman. "Why?" She cried out to no one. What had she done or not done? Why wasn't she good enough? What did that woman have that she didn't? Maybe she could carry the child that Tina could not. Tears flowed heavy and sobs racked her body. She sat there for sometime, letting the pain flow out of her.

"Tina? Are you OK?" Alice called from the bathroom door.

"Yeah." She slowly stood up. "I'm almost done."

"OK. If you don't feel up..."

"No." She said quickly. "I need to get out."

Tina finished showering and dried off. She quickly got dressed and stepped into the living room. "I'm ready."

As if on auto-pilot, they headed for the Planet. As they pulled up in Dana's car, she turned to Tina. "Is this OK? I should have asked."

"No. This is fine." Tina turned to the other two in the back. "Don't tip toe around me. It only makes it more difficult."

Alice and Shane nodded. "OK." Dana said softly.

"OK." Tina got out of the car. "Lets eat I'm starving."

"OK." Alice echoed as they walked in. They spotted a free table and headed over.

"Hi ladies." Marina said softly. She looked a bit broken up herself. "What can I get you? It's on me today."

"My we are generous." Shane said.

"Yeah." Alice commented. "What's up?"

Marina sat down, she looked at Tina. "I don't need to burden any of you with this."

"Don't hold back because of me." Tina said, concern for her friend pushing aside her own feelings. "Are you OK?"

"I told Jenny I loved her." Marina said softly. "And I haven't heard anything back."

"Whoa." Alice looked at Marina. "If I might ask, what about Francesca?"

"I think that's been over for sometime. I just didn't know it." Marina looked down. "My biggest tie to her of late has been the Planet."

"How much?" Shane asked.

"More than I care to think about." Marina responded.

"That may be in the past." Kit said from behind them.

Marina looked back to see Kit, looking bright eyed and enthusiastic next to Ivan in her usual drag, standing there. "Why?"

Kit held up a check. "My first royalties check came in." She laughed. "It's not everything, but it's a good start."

Marina looked at the check. "Does this mean?"

"Oh yeah." Kit smiled. "Co-Owners."

Tina was swept up in the enthusiasm of the moment and forgot where she was for a few minutes. Until she walked in.

Bette stood outside the Planet, afraid to enter. "It's now or never dear. And I want to see this place." Peggy smiled. "It's so bohemian."

Bette sucked a breath in. Maybe no one would be there. She entered and walked, without looking to the counter, Peggy Peabody behind her.

"OhmyGod." Dana sucked in a breath and Alice followed her eyes.

"Is that the woman you guys were talking about?" Alice asked.

Shane and the others turned to look. "Yeah that's her." Shane said.

Alice laughed. "That's Peggy Peabody."

Tina looked at Bette. She was dressed down a bit for a work day. But she knew who Peggy Peabody was. And as far as she knew it was work. Of course she had thought Candace Jewel had been work too. "She's probably checking up on the exhibit."

Everyone turned back to Tina. Rock and a hard place. "Well I have a few words to give my baby sis." Kit started. Ivan grabbed her arm.

"I don't think now is the time." She said softly.

Bette took her cup of coffee and without meaning to she turned and her eyes locked with Tina. She saw the pain on the surface of her lovers face. Part of her wanted to cross the room and take Tina in her arms. Make her believe she loved her and it had all been a mistake. And part of her wanted to run away. She did neither. Her body stood, as though glued to the floor.

"Mmm. Good coffee." Peggy said as she sipped the warm liquid. She suddenly saw Bette's gaze. "Ah. Now you know where she is. But this might not be the time or place."

"What do I do?" She whispered. She was fighting with everything she had not to cry.

"Well you can introduce me to your friends, or we can just walk back to the car." Peggy looked at her. "I've been where you are dear." She made a motion towards Tina. "And dear I have been where she is. Time. Time is the healer here."

"I'm so sorry." Bette whispered.

Tina watched Bette and Peggy exchange a few words. Then she saw what Bette whispered and she broke the gaze. "Not sorry enough." Tina said getting up. "I've gotta go." She looked at Dana. "Keys let me borrow your car. There is something I have to do."

Dana was startled, and gave Tina her keys. "It's full." She said quickly.

"Thanks. I owe you." Tina said, before breezing out of the Planet.

"Dana. You drove all of us." Alice said after Tina was out of earshot.

"Shit." Dana shook her head.

Peggy looked at Kit for a few minutes. "Is that Kit Porter?"

Bette looked at Peggy. "Yes. She's my sister."

"I love her music." Peggy said before heading toward the group.

Bette was stunned. Peggy Peabody listened to her sister? She followed her, gathering her courage. "Hi."

"Hi." Was all anyone said at first.

They were not going to make this one easy on her. "Everyone this is Peggy Peabody." She turned to her sister. "This is my sister Kit."

"I am a huge fan." Peggy said taking Kit's hand in both of hers. "Are you playing anywhere in the next few days? That's as long as I'll be here."

"No I'm sorry. Closest thing I'm doing to playing a gig this week is hosting the party here Thursday night." Kit was flattered.

"Who owns this wonderful place?" Peggy asked.

"I do." Marina said.

"I love the ambiance here. And the coffee is simply wonderful." Peggy smiled. "What could I pay you to let her sing tomorrow night?"

"Nothing. Kit is always welcome to sing here." Marina said.

"Wonderful, so it's settled." She turned to Bette. "I'll see you tomorrow at 7." She turned to go. "You can get a ride from your friends I'm sure." And with that she was gone.

Bette turned to her friends. She wondered. Are they my friends? After what I've done, I'm not even my friend.

Tina parked in front of the center. She got out and practically ran in. "Oscar!" She called spotting him.

"Hey Tina. Where have you been?" He asked.

"Not now." She looked around. "Where is she?"

He looked confused. "Who?"

"Candace?" She looked intently at him.

"She was here this morning but then said she had another job this afternoon, she would be back in the morning."

Tina headed out of the center. She had a good idea where this woman was headed. She had a few questions. She drove quickly. Once outside of the CAC she hesitated. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. She stood for a few minutes looking up at the building.

"Tina?" James, Bette's assistant called. "Thank God."

"What?" She asked looking at him.

"Is Bette all right? I can't get a hold of her." He looked panicked.

"As far as I know, she is." Tina said rather coolly.

"Oh." He looked at his feet. "I'll keep trying her then. She's bound to pick up sometime." James was used to the interesting relationship between his boss and her beautiful lover.

Tina nodded, and was getting ready to turn and walk away when she saw her. Candace Jewel dressed in her work clothes coming out of the CAC. "Candace!"

Candace turned and looked at Tina. She wasn't sure what to do. She didn't know what was going on. "Tina." She returned, heading towards the blonde woman. "Hi."

"Hi?" Tina echoed. "I don't get it. Unless...." she paused. "It's the black thing?"

"Black thing?" Candace echoed. Then it struck her, and she didn't know if she should stay or go. "Look it's not like I meant..."

"Meaning or not meaning what you did was horrible. Put yourself in someone else's shoes for once. You are not all to blame here. Bette is a big girl and makes her own decisions. But..." She looked her over again. "What do you have that I don't?"

"Look I don't know what was said to you..."

"I wasn't lucky enough to have anyone spell it out for me. I saw you two the night of Provocation's opening." She looked at Candace. "Seven years should be stronger than this."

"Look you can be mad at me. But what good will that do you? What happened happened for a reason." Candace said quickly. She was becoming annoyed with the persecution. "Maybe I do have something she needs. Why don't you ask her?"

Tina's quick temper got the better of her and she doubled her fist and hit the other woman in the jaw. "If she needed you. She's not the woman I thought she was." And with that she walked away.

Bette sat out on the front porch watching the sun set. Now that she had gotten out of the house, she didn't really want to go back. She saw Tim's car pull into his driveway and she stood. She felt she should talk to him. Like she owed him an apology. She caught him before he headed into the house. "Tim."

He turned and gave her a small smile. "Bette."

"Got a minute?" She asked.

"Sure." He motioned to the front step and they sat down.

"I feel I owe you an apology." She started.

"Me? Why?" He asked.

"Because I watched and said nothing to you about Jenny and Marina. And then like a fuckin hypocrite I go out and have this thing..."

"You cheated on Tina?" He looked stunned. "I would have never thought. I mean." He paused. "I know you said you guys were having trouble. Was the trouble this other woman?"

"No. No no no." She shook her head. "She was a byproduct of the trouble. I thought I was falling out of love with Tina. And then the baby and the pressure with the opening."

"I see. So where does that leave you two?" He asked.

"I don't know. She won't talk to me. Or at least I haven't really tried." She looked at Tim. "Was there anything Jenny could have done to make it up to you?"

"Whoa. Bette you are not Jenny. This situation is different. You and Tina have something special. Jenny and I lost that a long time ago. I thought by bringing her out here it would make things all right. But she's too young and I'm not what she needs." He looked at Bette. "You and Tina need each other."

"I was wrong about how I felt. I've never loved her more than I do right now." She began to cry. "And I may never get the chance to tell her that."

Tim sighed. He'd known Bette and Tina for sometime now. And he had never seen her like this. But he knew better than anyone that you can't do anything for the person. Just be there. "Bette. Don't give up." He put his arm around her. "I'm here for you if you need me."

"Thanks." She wiped her eyes and smiled at him. "I may have to take you up on that one."

Alice pulled the ice from Tina's hand. "Ouch." It was purple and swollen. "I wonder what her face looks like."

"I can't believe you hit her." Dana kept saying and shaking her head. "I never took you for the type."

"I think it's awesome." Shane said with a hint of admiration in her voice.

"Owwww!" Tina cried as Alice applied the ice back to her hand. "I shouldn't have done it. Especially not in front of the CAC. James saw the whole thing."

"In front of the CAC?" Dana's eyes got bigger.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Weren't you listening?"

"I was." Dana said defensively.

"What if Bette finds out?" Tina said irritated at herself.

Shane laughed. "Oh Bette will find out. I'm sure the minute you left her little stooge was on the phone to her."

Bette was sitting out on the porch with Tim enjoying a beer from his fridge when her cell phone went off. "I guess I need to start answering my phone." She clicked it on. "Hello.

"Bette? Oh thank God you're OK. I've been making up excuse after excuse for you. And Mrs. Peabody has been trying to get in touch with you..."

"I spoke with her already, James." Bette reassured him.

"Oh good. I can tell Franklin that when he asks next." He sighed. "I saw Tina today. I know it's not my place to ask, but are you two OK? Because she cold-cocked your friend today."

"My friend?" Bette asked puzzled. He had to be wrong. Tina was very anti-violence.

"The carpenter, Candace is it?"

"Oh my God. She what?" Bette's eyes grew wide.

"Is everything OK?" Tim asked.

Bette shook her head. "I've got to go James. I'll be in tomorrow." And she hung up the phone. She turned to Tim. "Tina punched Candace."

Tim sat stunned for a minute. "She did what?"

"Hit her." Bette couldn't picture her loving partner doing anything of the kind.

"You mean she slapped her." Tim said.

Bette shook her head. "I don't think so." She took a big drink of her beer. "James said she cold-cocked her."

Tim laughed. He couldn't help himself. She was able to do what he hadn't to Marina. "I'm sorry." He said after a few minutes. "But sometime you have to be satisfied when there is vengeance for the scorned lover."

Bette looked at him. "Tim, that's not like Tina."

"How do you know? Has she ever been in this position before?"

Bette shook her head. "No. I don't think so."

"Then maybe when backed into a corner, that's her way of fighting back out."

"Alice?" Tina asked trying to wiggle her fingers.

"Can you move them ok?" She asked. "Yeah?"

"Sort of. They move, but not ok." She winced in pain. "When you were with Bette did she ever... I mean."

"Did she flirt? Yes, all the time. Did she look? Yes. Did she seize the moment? Yeah, kind of." Alice looked at Tina. "I may be really wrong here. But, I refuse to believe Bette would risk you and her like this without some kind of reason."

"Alice!" Dana chastised. "It's not Tina's fault."

"Oh." Alice looked at Tina. "God no. I didn't mean it that way."

"Look, I've known her the least amount of time. But I know you two. Bette had no intention of leaving you or hurting you or anything like that." Shane said matter of fact. "There is something more going on with her."

"Thanks for the psychological evaluation from the love 'em and leave 'em girl." Dana said irritated. "What's with the defense of Bette? She was very hard on Marina and Jenny. She jumped to Tim's defense time and again. And she does the same thing but its ok?"

"It's not ok Dana." Alice looked at her. "No one says it's ok. We are just trying to understand why."

Tina tried to smile through the pain of her hand. "Guys, I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with this by myself, let alone with you guys taking sides or fighting about it."

"She's right." Alice said sighing. It wasn't their place to make any judgments about anyone or anything.

Dana looked at Tina. "If you need more space, I have the room. You can stay with me. I know Alice's place is small."

"But it works." Alice said in defense of her place.

"I didn't mean it was bad. I just know you work at home and it must be hard to do it with all of us in and out of here." Dana said frowning.

"That's not how it sounded..."

"Hey!" Tina shouted. She looked at Alice. "I love your apartment, but I do feel like I'm in the way here."

"Oh. You're not." Alice said. "It's nice having someone around."

Tina smiled. "Thank you, but you're used to being here without a sobbing friend." She turned to Dana. "If you and Tonya have the room..."

Dana shook her head. "Not Tonya. She moved out."

Alice looked up; a bit surprised Dana hadn't said anything before. "Oh. Are you ok?" Tina asked.

"Yeah. I have a few things to work out before I get involved like that." She smiled, but glanced at Alice out of the corner of her eye. She knew they had to talk soon.

"Well, if you feel like it's ok to have me there..." Tina left off.

"Yeah, actually I think it would work out pretty good." Dana smiled at Tina. "It's a big place for one person. And I've been thinking about getting a new little kitten. You could give me a hand, if you don't mind."

Tina smiled. "I don't mind at all."

Bette stepped out onto the patio and inhaled the fresh air. She noticed the light on in Jenny's shack. She wondered how much she had hurt after cheating on Tim. Bette hadn't made any real effort to get to know Jenny, and she was suddenly sorry for it. She was probably a nice girl who had made a few mistakes. She looked at her cell phone and inhaled deeply. She wanted to call Alice and see if she would talk to her about what was going on. She hit the speed dial on her phone and waited for the ringing to start.

"Hello?" Alice answered.

"Hi. It's Bette."

Alice looked at Dana and Tina as they were wrapping Tina's hand. "Uh, yeah I know I have caller ID."

"Tina's there isn't she?" Bette asked.

"Yes, but not for long." Alice was trying to be secretive.

"Where is she going?" Bette asked, her heart leaping into her chest.

"I am not at liberty to discuss that at the present time." Alice smiled at Shane, who was watching her with interest.

"Will she be coming back to your apartment?" Bette asked irritated.

"Uh for a visit now and again." Alice answered, trying to keep her voice quiet.

"Where is she going to be staying?" Bette demanded.

"OH you like tennis? Yeah I do a little too." Alice said, trying to give her friend a hint.

"Dana's?"

"Yes." Alice glanced over at Tina and Dana, who appeared to be fighting with the wrapping tape on Tina's knuckles.

"Alice what happened today?" Bette sighed. "Did she hit Candace?"

"As far as I know that's right." Alice wasn't sure she should stay on the phone any longer. "I'll call you at work tomorrow..."

"Wait is she ok?"

"Yes, now I'll talk to you later, uh..." Alice noticed Dana and Tina looking at her.

"Tell Bette I'm fine and will be staying at Dana's. I will call her when I am ready." Tina said, maybe a bit harshly. She didn't appreciate being checked up on.

"Did you hear that?" Alice asked

"Yes." Bette said softly. "She's ok."

**Part 2**

Bette sat in her office; eyes closed trying to remember why she had a meeting today. "OK, I gave you time, what is going on?"

Bette opened her eyes and saw Candace standing in front of her, a large bruised bump on her lower cheek and upper chin. "Jesus, are you ok?"

Candace gently rubbed her face. "Yes, just hurts." She looked at Bette. "Where do we stand? I need to know if your psychotic girlfriend is going to start coming after me."

"Whoa, wait. This is not like Tina at all. She's upset, and for very good reason." Bette jumped to Tina's defense. "Where we stand is no where. It was nice, and if it was a different time and place in my life, then things might have been different. But I love Tina more than life itself. What I did was wrong and I hope I can someday make it up to her." She stood and walked to where Candace was. She placed her hand on Candace, "I want Tina. I'm sorry."

The door to Bette's office opened and Kit, accompanied by Ivan entered.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" Kit said taking in the scene before her.

"Not what you, obviously think." Bette said giving her sister a hard look. She turned to Candace. "I hope you understand."

Candace looked at Kit, then back to Bette. "You know how to find me." was all she said before brushing past Kit and Ivan.

Bette turned to Kit. "What brings you down here to yell at me?"

"Look girl. I don't know why you are fucking up your perfect little life. But I think you need to think before you make any other moves."

Bette looked at Kit. "What do you know about it?" She took her anger out on Kit. "What do you know about me at all?"

"Oh Baby girl, I know you better than you think I do." She stepped towards her. "And what do I know about screwing up a good life? Everything! What do you think I'm paying for now? Why do you think I can't get my own son to come see me? Why do you think you're the only one in the family who will talk to me?" She shook her head. "You know that I am the queen of fucking up." She put her hands on her sister's shoulders and forced her to look at her. "Bette I love you. Let me help you. I just want what's best for you. And that skinny little white girl, whom I have grown to love as a sister, is what's best for you girl."

"I know." Bette said softly, the anger suddenly gone. She stared at her sister. "What am I going to do?"

"If I may interject." Ivan said from the door, where she'd been leaning. "A little romance can go a long way." She smiled.

The doorbell rang at Dana's house and Tina went to the door to get it. "Yes?" She asked, after opening it.

A delivery man stood there, a large box in his hands. "This is for a Miss Tina Kennard."

"That's me." She took the box as Dana came down the stairs. She pulled a few ones out of her pocket and handed them to him. "Thanks."

"Sure." He said as he left.

"What's that?" Dana asked as she and Tina headed into the kitchen.

"I don't know." Tina laid it down and slowly pulled the ribbon off the box. She picked up the card and opened it. She knew that hand writing.

_Tina,_

_I can't tell you how sorry I am. And this box of roses hardly begins to make up for it. I hope you will let me try to make it up. Please call me when you are ready to talk. I won't push you. Just know I am here, whenever you want to talk._ _I love you always_.

_-Bette_

Tina put the card down and opened the box, 24 long stem roses, white, pink and red mixed together. They were fresh and very fragrant. So much so, Tina couldn't help but smile.

"May I?" Dana asked pointing to the card. "If it's too personal..."

"What's too personal?" Alice asked coming into the kitchen.

"Don't you knock?" Dana asked, trying to be irritated.

"As much as you do when you come to my place." Alice was quick to respond. She picked up the card and noticed the writing. "From Bette huh?"

Tina looked at Dana. "A vase?" She turned to Alice. "Yeah."

"Is this good or bad?" Alice asked still holding the card.

"I'm not sure yet." Tina said taking the vase from Dana and filling it with water. "She is at least going to give me space right now." She placed the roses in it. "That I know is good. That's what I need right now." As she spoke she didn't take her eyes off the roses. She gently fingered one of the roses; it was soft between her fingers. "Just like Bette." She mumbled to herself.

Dana and Alice stepped into the other room leaving Tina lost in thought. It was the first time they had been alone since that night. "Dana I..."

"Yeah. I think..." Dana couldn't find the words and suddenly found herself kissing a very shocked Alice.

Alice quickly got over the shock and was beginning to kiss back, when they heard Tina enter the room.

"Hey guys I..." Tina stopped, her eyes wide. "Wow, oh, uh, ok, I'll be in the kitchen."

"Oh God." Dana and Alice said together.

"Wait Tina." Alice said, trying to compos herself. "Look we don't know yet what this is." She motioned between herself and Dana. "So if you could."

"Zipped." Tina said, still a little shocked. "I will keep it to myself."

"Thanks." Alice said stepping back from Dana.

"But if you guys need time I can find another place to stay." Tina said quickly.

"No." They both said rather loudly.

"You need us." Dana said starting to relax.

"Well I do need you guys today." Tina said softly. "I need clothes. I can't keep borrowing yours."

"Want me to go pick up some for you?" Alice asked.

Tina looked at her. "I was going to go, but I'm just not ready. Could you get me a suitcase?"

"Yeah. I can do that." Alice looked at her watch. "I have time before an interview anyway. I'll bring it by tonight before we head out to Kit's thing."

"Kit's thing?" Tina asked, puzzled.

"Oh yeah you weren't there yesterday. Kit's gonna perform tonight at the Planet." Dana said, glancing at Alice out of the corner of her eye.

"I know Kit would like it if you showed up tonight." Alice said, trying not to think about Dana and that kiss.

"I'll have to think about it." Tina said looking at her hand. "I'll let you know."

Bette entered her home that afternoon to find Alice in the living room, playing with the stereo. "Can I help you?"

Alice turned and smiled. "I was trying to find some good music here, but it looks like a lost cause."

"Thanks." She glanced around.

"I'm alone." Alice smiled apologetically. She felt for Bette. She knew her. She was hurting, and she had been for sometime. "I, ah, I am actually here for some of Tina's clothes. She's been borrowing all mine."

"Yeah if you leave her near a closet, she does that." Bette said softly, smiling at the thought of Tina in her own shirts.

"So, I couldn't find a suitcase or anything." Alice said gently.

"Follow me." Bette put her briefcase down and led Alice to the hall closet where she pulled a large suitcase from the top shelf. "The big one?"

"Probably." Alice said as Bette put the smaller ones back.

"She'll probably want her bathroom things too." Bette said as they headed to the bedroom. Bette walked in and dropped the suitcase on the bed.

"Jesus, what happened in here?" Alice asked, surveying the mess.

Bette looked at her. "I haven't been in here since she..." She broke off and looked away.

"Oh." Alice wanted to kick herself.

Bette went to the closet and opened it. She pulled several tops and a few nice pairs of slacks. She didn't know what Tina needed. She pulled a few skirts Bette had always liked her in. She placed the clothes in the suitcase and went to the dresser. She pulled all of Tina's undergarments out and put them in the suitcase. She took a garment bag from her own side of the closet and placed two of Tina's suits in it. "I don't know if she plans on returning to work. If so, she'll need these." She turned to the bottom of the closet and pulled Tina's favorite running shoes and a few others from the closet. She pulled Tina's athletic bag from the closet and put the shoes in it. "Let me get her workout suit and bathroom things." Bette moved as though someone else had control. She walked back to the dresser and pulled one of the work out suits from it and placed it in the suitcase. Then she headed to the bathroom and put together one of the overnight bags together with Tina's personal things in it.

Alice picked up a picture of Tina and Bette from Tina's side of the bed. She placed it in the suitcase, just in case.

"That should do it." Bette said softly.

The Planet was crowded, as it usually was when it was hosting a special girls night. Bette found herself leading a casually dressed Peggy Peabody to a table. "Is this ok?"

Peggy nodded and took a seat. "Are all these women Lesbians?" Peggy asked looking around.

Bette resisted the urge to smile. "I'm not really sure, but I would wager to guess yes. Or Bi."

"Who's Bi?" Alice asked sitting down next to Bette.

"You." Bette said quickly.

Alice looked at her a minute. "You were Bi bashing again were you? Because there is nothing wrong with it."

"Don't get defensive. I was just answering a question." Bette said looking past Alice.

"She's not here." Alice said taking a drink from Bette's cup. "She might be coming with Dana and Shane."

"Still not talking?" Peggy asked.

"I told her I would give her space." Bette said glancing around for signs of Dana or Shane.

"Space. Ugh." Peggy shook her head. "Well, you should make sure she knows you have a deadline."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "A deadline?"

"She has to get her life in order before she can take over my next exhibit." Peggy said matter of fact. "I need her to be focused when we get started." She looked at Alice. "We met yesterday didn't we?"

"Yeah, I'm Alice. I write for LA Magazine." She said, watching Bette out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh right. I know about you. Bette says you write some wonderful articles. I wouldn't know, I don't read magazines unless I can help it. But if you ever need a quote, please let me know. A friend of Bette's..."

"Is a friend of yours." Alice finished.

"No, is someone worth talking to." Peggy said before turning her attention to the performance area.

Alice lowered her voice as the first band began to play, and leaned towards Bette. "She's a bit..."

"Yes I know. But she saved my ass. It's the least I can do." Bette replied before returning her gaze to the door. She knew she couldn't approach Tina tonight, but she wanted to see her.

"Dana I don't know. Maybe I should just go back to the house." Tina said as they stood outside The Planet.

"It's up to you Tina. I can take you back."

"No, I don't want you to miss it." Tina was torn. There was a part of her that wanted to walk in there and pretend none of it ever happened. She wanted to take Bette's face in her hands and kiss it all away. Then there was a part of her that never wanted to see Bette again. And the biggest part right now, wanted to crawl under the covers and just forget it all. She turned to Shane. "Could you take Dana home?"

"Yeah I can do that." Shane shook her head. "Don't go in if you're not ready Tina. Don't put yourself through anything you don't have to." She was speaking from the heart. "Don't do anything that's gonna hurt you right now. It's not worth it."

Tina put a hand on Shane's arm. "You deserve to find someone wonderful." She looked at Dana, who was pulling out her keys for her. "Thank you Dana."

"It's ok." Dana said wishing she could make her friends feel better. She thought of Alice and wondered what she was going to do there.

"I'll see you guys later." Tina said before turning and heading back to the car. A quick get away.

Dana and Shane entered and found Alice. They sat down. "Hi." Shane said sitting next to Peggy. Peggy was watching the band as they finished up.

Bette looked at them, then looked around, no Tina. "Hi." She said a bit too casually.

"She didn't come?" Alice asked.

"Nope said she had a headache." Shane said quickly.

"Oh." Alice glanced at Bette, who had just put her business face on.

"How is it?" Dana asked, looking at Alice.

"Sounds good so far." Alice said giving Dana a small smile.

"Good? They are wonderful." Peggy said warmly. She smiled at Dana and Shane. "You're that Tennis player aren't you?"

Dana smiled. "Yeah. Dana Fairbanks."

Peggy looked at Bette. "The company you keep."

Bette smiled back. "I know." She turned towards the stage when her sister got up there.

"Hi everyone. I have a few announcements to make." Kit said smiling at the crowd. "I am happy to announce that The Planet is now under the Management of myself and Marina." The crowd cheered, most knowing about Francesca. "Alright calm down. Now the bad news. Marina will be out of town for a while, so she can get some of her affairs in order." The crowd murmured and Kit continued. She didn't want people to find out anything more than Marina wanted them to know. "But I will be here and we will continue to make this the best place in LA!" She gave the band a nod and they began to play and Kit eased into her first song.

Peggy shook her head. "Kit is an amazing singer." She turned to Bette. "Do you sing?"

"I think Bette's talents lie elsewhere." Alice chuckled.

Bette shot Alice a look. "My talents are in Art." She said looking at Peggy.

"And in that respect, you are very talented." She smiled at Bette and turned her attention back to Kit's performance.

**Part 3**

Bette Porter walked the gallery. It was still pretty packed and Provocations had been open for more than two weeks now. She felt a feeling of pride sweep over her. She stopped and looked at a painting of a man and a woman over lapping in many places and yet very distinctly drawn from the other. She liked this one very much, and she had found herself staring at it many times. There was something about the curves and the colors that made her almost yearn to enter the picture itself.

"Bette?" A voice broke her from her day dream.

"Franklin?" Bette looked at him without seeing him.

"I wanted to talk to you about a conversation I had with Peggy Peabody."

"I know what she wants of me." Bette said, annoyed that he had disturbed her peaceful thoughts to discuss this.

"You do? Of course you do, she would talk to you before talking to me." He frowned. "We would hate to lose you any earlier than necessary. But we understand what a great opportunity it is for you." He started.

"Are you letting me go Franklin?" Bette asked, finally focusing on him.

"Not exactly. We are prepared to make you a deal." Franklin said smiling at Bette.

"What sort of deal?"

"We will give you whatever time you need to work on this up and coming project with Peggy as well as give you a raise, if you'll sign a contract for 3 years." Franklin lowered his voice. "Some of the board members have been on my ass about the little trouble between you and I in the beginning of the season. But we both know it was just a little thing. And the board said they would like to see you stay on with us and continue to bring the CAC into the new century."

Bette looked at him. Was this not the same man who just a few short months ago was ready to serve her head on a platter? "Well, I will have to think about it."

"Of course. You'll want to talk to Tina about it." He smiled at her before walking away.

Tina. She would love to talk to Tina about it all. But she had promised to give Tina her space. Not to push. But she hadn't seen or spoken to her in over a week. Maybe one little call wouldn't hurt.

At that moment her phone rang and she jumped. "Hello?"

"Bette its Alice."

"Ok."

"I think I really need to talk to you about something." Alice sounded a little upset. "Can you do lunch?"

Bette looked at her watch. "Yeah I can. Is there something wrong with Tina?"

"No, it's not Tina." Alice sounded like she was going to break down at any moment.

"Ok, how about Pink's? I'm dying for a hot dog."

"Sure. I'll be there in 15 minute." Alice said before hanging up.

When Bette arrived, Alice was sitting at one of the picnic tables in the front. "What's up?" Bette asked sitting down.

"I kissed Dana." Alice blurted out.

Bette's eyes grew wide in amazement. "You what?"

"I kissed Dana. The night of the opening. I went to her house and rang the door bell, it was like 4 in the morning and I told her she couldn't marry Tonya and then I kissed her." Alice looked at Bette.

"Wow." Bette said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Yeah. And she kissed me back." Alice added. "And now Tonya is gone. Did you know that?"

"Wow. No." Bette said again, trying to take it all in.

"Yeah." Alice looked at the hot dog in front of her. "I think I may actually be in love with Dana Fairbanks."

"Wow." Bette looked at Alice.

"Would you stop saying that." Alice frowned.

"Sorry, I just... I can't believe... Wow." Bette was practically in shock.

"Bette!"

"Sorry." Bette thought for a moment and somehow it made sense to her. "I think you would work."

"Yeah?" Alice asked. "Really, me and Dana?"

Bette nodded and picked up the hot dog. "Sure. Friends sometimes make the best lovers."

"Yeah and sometimes they don't." Alice frowned at Bette. "That's my dog."

Bette shook her head. "Not now." She picked up Alice's coke and took a sip. "And this is mine." She smiled. "You need to decide if it's worth the risk."

"I don't want to be the kind of person who sleeps with their friends." Alice said snagging her soda back.

"We're friends and we've slept together." Bette waited until Alice was done taking a drink and grabbed the drink.

"Hey!" Alice sighed. "Don't you eat at home?"

"I don't cook." Bette reminded her. "Tina was much better at it." Her voice grew soft.

"Bette, what are you going to do?" Alice asked, grabbing the other dog on the plate.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what I can do." She took another drink. "Give her space I guess."

A few days later Tina found herself standing outside her old boss's office. She ran her hand over her skirt for the hundredth time. She knew she looked good. And these were people she had known, what seemed like forever ago. The door opened and Tom Greggs stepped out. "Tina!" He smiled at her. He was middle aged and a bit portly about the belly, but he reminded her of a warm family man. And he was the first one to give her a job out of college.

"Tom." She said as they embraced warmly.

"So you're wanting to get back in the rat race huh?" He said leading her into his office.

"Well at least freelance." She said taking a seat.

"That I can give you. I have a project that isn't going the way the investors would like. The script needs to be pumped up and there is a slight problem with the trademark." He shrugged. "Actors who think they can write."

"Legal problems?" She asked. "And you're still involved?"

"Well our new head guy over in Legal says we have a case and since we've already sunk the money into it, we should try and salvage what we can." Tom looked at her. "Are you up for this?"

"Are you offering it to me?"

He smiled big. "Hell yeah Tina. I can't think of anyone else I could trust with this."

Tina smiled. She had always been good at what she did. "Then I accept."

"Great, have lunch with me and let's get things started." He stood as there was a knock at the door. "Good Legal is here."

The door opened and a handsome man stood before them. "Tom I ..." He stopped.

"Eric?" Tina asked, her eyes wide. "You're head of Legal?"

He smiled. "Tina, yeah I am." He looked at Tom. "This is the wonder woman you were talking about?"

Tom nodded. "Yes she is. You two know each other?"

"Yeah we dated a few years back." Eric said looking back at Tina.

"Seven," Tina said.

Tina listen through lunch to what Tom and Eric had to say on the issues dealing with the script. She was pretty sure she could save this film for the investors and the studio, at least on the creative side. When they were finished with lunch, Tom paid with this company credit card and excused himself, leaving Tina and Eric alone.

"Seven years is a long time." Eric said smiling.

"Yes it is." Tina looked at him. "You look good."

"Thank you." He looked at the sunny day. "Want to take a walk somewhere? Chat and get through this awkward time before we have to work together?"

Tina nodded. "I think that's a great idea." She smiled at him as they left the restaurant. They headed out across the street and onto the beach.

"So I think I saw you on the news not that long ago, with the woman who used to get me the best art work around." Eric said, trying to keep his voice light.

She looked away. "I was. Provocations opened a few weeks ago."

"I haven't been to see it. I've been meaning to." He said, noticing the mention of Bette brought an unusual response.

Tina looked back at him. "You should. It's very different. Something I think people should see."

"Perhaps I will." He looked at her. "Did I tell you I'm married? Almost 6 years now."

She smiled, happy for him. "That's wonderful Eric."

He took out his wallet, and showed her a picture. A lovely blonde California girl and a smaller version stood together on the beach, wind blowing their hair. "My wife Carol and our daughter Katie."

Tina looked at them. "They're lovely." She could have had that with him, she thought to herself. A normal life, with a husband and having a baby without the doctors and donors. She looked at him. "I'm so happy you found what you were looking for."

"Well, actually we're heading for divorce." He said softly

"Eric, I'm so sorry." She said softly. "Seems to be going around." The tears welled up in her eyes and she couldn't fight it.

"Tina." He said putting his arms around her. "What happened?"

"Bette and I..." And before she knew it, she was rehashing the whole thing. She looked at him once the tale was told. "What's wrong with me?"

"Oh God, Tina, nothing. People do stupid insensitive things for strictly selfish reasons. I had only known Bette a little while before you and I were dating. I can't speak for her. But I can't think of any reason anyone would have for cheating on an amazing woman like you." Eric held her in his arms while she cried herself out.

Alice almost dropped her drink "Sexy Eric?"

Tina rolled her eyes. "It was Eric." She picked up a fry and took a bite out of it. "He looked good."

Alice shook her head. "Of all the people."

"I know. I was surprised he had given up private practice to work for a studio." She took another bite. "It was nice to see him again."

"Nice?" Alice raised an eyebrow.

"We were friends and colleagues." Tina said picking up another fry.

"That's not all you were."Alice said pointedly.

"He's married, with a kid." Tina said watching as Shane made her way towards them.

"Hey," Shane said sitting down. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Alice said. "Hear from Dana at all?" She tried to sound causal. Tina smiled at her.

"Nope. But I heard from Jenny. She found an apartment and wondered if we could all give her a hand." Shane looked at Tina. "Can you handle it? If not it's not big deal, I've got it."

"I can help a friend." Tina smiled. "After I finish eating."

Bette was in the backyard watching the stars as they peaked out from the smog. She knew she could only see the strongest stars, thanks to the lights of LA. She was in shorts and a tank top, sipping a glass of iced tea. "Hey." Tim was standing beside her lawn chair.

She looked at him. "What's up?"

"Jenny is moving out tonight and I can't hang around over there..."

"Have a seat. Want a glass of tea?" She asked motioning towards one of the chairs.

He held up a bag. "I brought over a little something for us."

She smiled. "I could use one of those." He opened the bag and pulled a bottle from it. "Ohhh what rates the expensive stuff?"

"A night with a friend." He said sitting down. "You know Bette I've lived next to you for a while and we've talked and had dinners together." He looked at her. "But are we really friends?"

She took a drink of beer. "I have always thought so." She looked at him. "Didn't you?"

"I don't know. I guess so." He chuckled. "I guess there was a little part of me that thought lesbians could only be friends with other lesbians."

She laughed. "There's a strange remark." She took another drink. "But it tends to be that way."

"I like you Bette, always have. You remind me of someone I knew back home." He smiled. "He was my best friend growing up. He was killed in a car accident our senior year in high school."

"I'm sorry to hear that." She took a drink. "But I'm flattered you think of me like that."

"Look when I lost it over the whole Marina Jenny thing and then we sort of drifted." He shook his head. "Wasn't my intention."

"It's ok. Isn't that how it's supposed to be with friends? Forgive and forget?" She asked, downing the last drink. "At least, that's how it is with friends."

Jenny, Shane, Alice, Tina, and Dana were loading the last of Jenny's things when they heard a scream from next door, followed by a splash. They followed Jenny to the fence. She looked at Tina, "I can see everything that goes on in your back yard from here."

"Really?" Shane asked, looking a little guilty.

"Who's over there?" Dana asked. They looked, trying not to make noise. Dana could feel Alice's breathe on her neck and it was driving her crazy.

"Shhh." Tina said.

"Bette Porter, there is a wild side to you." A man's voice called as they heard someone coming out of the pool.

"Oh God." Jenny's eyes got big. "That's Tim."

Tim shook like a dog when he got out. "That was uncalled for." He laughed.

"No it wasn't." Bette's words were slurred. "That's what happens when you disagree with something I have to say." She stood a few feet away from him. She was barefoot and holding a bottle of wine in one hand.

Tina looked at Alice, then back at Bette. She thought Bette looked amazingly sexy, but it concerned her that Bette was so visibly drunk. Alice shrugged. "I didn't know they were such good friends." She whispered.

"Neither did I." Tina said back.

"I'm not allowed my own opinion?" He asked taking the bottle from her. He took a few slugs off it and handed it back.

"Not in my house." She laughed. "Do I sound like a parent?" She took a big drink. "Some parent I would have made. I couldn't control myself." She looked at Tim. "You know I think it was my fault. God was punishing me for not being able to gain control and Tina had to pay for it."

Tim looked serious at her for a minute. "You can't really think that Bette." He walked to her. "You made a mistake."

"Is that how you forgave Jenny?" Bette asked, looking at him.

He sighed. "It's easier to think that when it's not you I guess." He turned up the radio. "Dance with me. I haven't danced with a woman in sometime."

Bette took his hand and they started to dance. "You need to re learn how to dance." She pulled away from him.

"No, you just need to let me lead." He shook his head and pulled her back. "When's the last time you let a guy dance with you?"

"Prom!" She stated. She moved close to him and leaned on him for support. "Ugh, you're wet."

He laughed. "You're drunk."

She moved away from him and grabbed the wine bottle. "I am Bette Porter. I do not get drunk. I do not lose control. I do not lose myself." And with that she collapsed onto the patio in tears.

Tim moved quickly, he began to sober up. "Bette!"

"I have lost myself Tim. How do I find it again?" Was the last thing she said that anyone could understand.

The group who had been watching moved away from the fence. Alice looked at Tina. "You ok?"

Tina just nodded. "I have to work tomorrow. I had better get going." She said before taking off.

Alice looked at Dana. "This can't be good."

Bette sat in her office. Enjoying the peace and quiet. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt. She was surprised she had convinced herself to come in this morning. She had told them no calls up front and turned her cell phone on vibrate. It was currently buzzing across her desk. She picked it up and answered. "Hello?" She asked quietly.

"Hey!" Alice said loudly. "What are you doing for lunch?"

"Uh nothing. I'm not sure I'll be eating this afternoon." She spoke softly. Pulling the phone away from her ear a bit. "Did you talk to Dana yet?"

"Not exactly." Alice's voice softened. "But I'm thinking of asking her to have dinner with me."

Bette would have raised an eyebrow if she could have managed it. "Really? You're asking someone else out?"

"I do that... sometimes." Alice mumbled. She remembered her purpose for calling. "Are you sure you wouldn't want a big greasy plate of a hamburger and fries? Or something like that?"

Bette grimaced. "No thanks." There was a loud knock on her door. "I've got to go, someone is here." She hung up and hoped she looked alive. "Yes?"

The door opened and Tina stepped in. She hadn't seen Tina in a few weeks, and despite the way she felt, her heart leaped. "Hi." Tina said softly.

She looked at Tina, who was dressed in a casual suit. "Hi."

Tina sat down in one of the chairs. "I think we need to talk."

Bette nodded. "Here or somewhere else?" She asked, trying to forget her headache.

"Not now. Just soon." Tina looked at Bette. Her eyes had bags under them and she looked pale. She knew she was recovering from a hangover, but it was more than that. Bette was in pain. "I want you to know now. There is no guarantee that I can forgive you." She saw Bette wince in pain. "But I want to try. I want to talk and figure out what we can do. If anything." She looked at her hand, minus the ring. "But the truth is Bette Porter, I love you. No matter how much I have been hurt, that will never change. I've spent these last weeks trying to hate you, and I just can't." Tears fell down Tina's cheeks.

Bette stood, unstable on her feet, and made her way to Tina's side. She knelt and wiped away the tears. "Tina, I never meant..." She looked into Tina's eyes. "If I could take it back I would." She touched Tina's' face, gently. "I love you Tina. More than anything."

Tina leaned in to kiss Bette when the door opened. "I've been thinking about what you said." Candace said standing there.

Bette looked from Tina to Candace, she couldn't speak. She felt a wave of dizziness come over her. "What?" Was all she could manage.

Candace looked at Tina, who couldn't believe what she was seeing. Bette was playing her for a fool. Anger flashed in her eyes. "You two deserve each other!" Tina yelled. She looked at Bette on the floor. "Your words mean nothing to me. There will be no talking. It's over!" She screamed, before pushing past Candace and out the door.

Bette suddenly found herself on the floor. She couldn't believe the scene that had just played out in front of her. What had happened? She looked at Candace. "Leave me alone." She began to cry in a way no one had ever seen Bette Porter cry, save one.

Kit had seen the whole thing from the crack in the door. She now stepped in and looked at Candace. "You get the fuck outta here. You don't belong here." Kit got in her face. "She doesn't need anything you've got."

Ivan stepped in. "Look, uh, Candace is it? Bette is having some problems and I think it's best to let those who know her help her."

"What the fuck do any of you know about it?" Candace glared at Ivan. She turned towards Bette. She hadn't meant to cause any trouble. She had just wanted to talk to her.

"I do not want to have to forcibly remove you from the premises, but I will." Ivan said calmly. Her look left no room for discussion.

Candace looked at Kit, then Ivan. "This is none of your business." She looked at Bette. "Bette, I'm so sorry. I'll call you."

Bette didn't hear the exchange, nor did she hear when Ivan excused herself to make sure Candace found the exit. But she was suddenly aware of arms encircling her on the floor. They were the same arms that were around her the day her mother left her. The last time she let life get to her. The day she swore no one would hurt her like that again. Her stomach hurt from the sobs, and yet she could not stop.

"Shhh, baby girl. It's ok." Kit held her tightly. Afraid of what Bette might do. Flash backs of that day 30 + years ago went through her mind.

_The door was slightly ajar to her sister's room. Kit entered to see if Bette had a few bucks to spare. She found Bette on the floor with their father's gun and the note her mother had left. Kit froze. She watched twelve year old Bette examine the gun._ _That's right; Kit remembered it was Bette's birthday today. She moved quickly, as Bette moved the gun towards herself. Kit slammed hard into her sister, knocking the gun away. "What the Fuck do you think you're doing?"_

_Bette looked at her sister. "What do you care?"_

_Kit grabbed her sister tightly. "I do care, you little brat!"_

_"It's not your mother and it doesn't affect your drinking or drugging." Bette glared at her. "You can't remember my birthday, or to be home at Christmas. I can't even find you to talk about school or to ask your advice. You're not my sister; you're barely a member of the human race!" Bette screamed._

_Kit, for once, put aside her feelings and selfish intents and pulled her sister even tighter. They fell to the floor, Kit never once letting go. "You yell all you want. Let it out."_

_Bette had sat there yelling at her sister, anything she could think of to get her to let go. And finally when nothing worked, her anger turned to pain, and she sobbed, horrible gut wrenching sobs. And through it all Kit stayed and held her, singing soft and sweet songs._

Kit sighed. She knew Bette barely remembered that day. Bette had a way of tucking the pain and bad times deep inside her. She began to rock Bette slowly. "It's gonna be ok baby girl. It will." She said softly.She started to sing softly.

Tina flew into the house and slammed the door behind her. Dana looked up. "Tina?"

Tina looked at Dana. "She tells me that she wants to make up. She wants to talk she wants... That's all she thinks about... what she wants. She wants to have us both." She was practically screaming. Alice entered the house in the middle of the rant. And exchanged looks with Dana.

Tina looked at Alice. "I'm sitting there, looking at her. Loving her, I was ready to give in to her." Her eyes flashed with rage, "And then her little..... bimbo walks in and ruins her whole plan." Tina laughed a hard cold laugh that unnerved Alice and Dana. "I wonder if she ever cared for me."

Alice took a step towards her. "Tina, what happened?"

"Bette." She practically spit the name from her lips. "She is still seeing that bitch. And she was trying to convince me to come back to her. That she loved me. You don't do that to someone when you love them." Tears began to flow from her eyes.

"Maybe you misunderstood." Alice tried.

Tina's eyes flashed. "I was there when she walked in. We were so close ... and then that bitch walks in and starts talking to my Bette. "The tears were coming harder now, she was practically sobbing."She doesn't love me." And with that she went down. Alice quickly caught her and she, with the help of Dana, moved her to the couch.

"Shhh." Alice said rubbing her head and stroking her hair. "Tina it's all gonna be ok." She looked at Dana. She didn't know how to help.

A few days later, Tina sat across from Eric and the others at legal. "I volunteer to go to New York."

Eric raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Tina nodded. She was tired of being hurt and a change of scenery might be just what she needed. Matter of fact she was thinking it might be time to see what living in New York was like. Even if it was for a few months. Maybe she could sublet something and even find work there when this project was over. "I think I should be the one to talk to them. It's my project."

Eric sighed. He wished he knew what was going on. "Ok. Then you're going to need to leave by the end of the week."

"Not a problem, I can be ready whenever you need me to be. Make the appointments." Tina stood. "Thank you for the update gentlemen." She looked at Eric. "Thank you for not arguing."

"No problem," He said as the others filed out. "I'm here if you need to talk."

"I'm done talking." She said coolly. "Talking gets you nowhere."

Alice stood on the doorstep of Bette's house. She had been trying to see all sides of the issue, but with Tina's breakdown a few days ago, and the fact that Bette hadn't broken it off with Candace made her angry. She was going to tell Bette just what she thought of her. She rang the door bell and was surprised when Kit answered.

"Alice." Kit said rather coolly.

"Hey Kit. Is uh Bette here? I've been trying to reach her for days now." Alice looked pasted Kit into the house.

"Yeah she's here; she's just not up for conversations." Kit looked exhausted.

Alice frowned. "Why is that?"

Kit sighed. "Look, she's not doing so hot right now."

Alice tried to stay angry. "Oh yeah? You should see Tina."

Kit shook her head. "I'm sure Tina's upset, and I tried to call her. What went down is not what Tina thinks she saw." Kit motioned for Alice to come in.

They walked into the living room together and sat down on the couch. The house was clean and things looked like they always have. But it didn't feel the same, and that worried Alice. "What do you mean it's not what Tina thinks?"

"Now, as I saw it, Tina and Bette were having a moment. Then the next thing I see is that bitch walking in and destroying it. Tina jumped to a conclusion that things had not changed." Kit picked up her glass of Pepsi and took a sip. How badly she had wanted a drink lately.

"Now, wait. You're saying Candace and Bette were over? Are over?" Alice asked.

Kit nodded. "Yes. Bette was trying to do it before Tina found out. And she had done it before she had attempted to talk to Tina. She was trying to set it all straight. But that woman just won't give up. She's called here twice."

"OH Shit!" Alice picked up her phone and hit the speed dial. "Dana?"

"Yeah?"

"Dana, don't let her go. Make her stay." Alice said quickly. "Take her back to your house and I will be there in a little bit. Tell her I have news that might change everything."

"OK." Dana sighed. "What's the news?"

"I'll tell you later." Alice said before hanging up. She looked at Kit. "Not that I don't trust you or Bette, but it's all true, right? They are done?"

Kit looked at Alice, slightly annoyed. "Girl, I would not lie to you about this."

"Kit?" A very faint voice asked as a rumpled, hollow version of Bette stumbled out from the hallway. She looked at Alice. "Say whatever you need to say to me, then let me be." Her voice was hoarse and pained.

Alice stood, tears in her eyes at the sight of her dearest friend. "Oh Bette." She moved and took Bette in her arms. "I'm so sorry. I ended up taking sides and that's not what I wanted to do."

Bette put her arms around Alice. "It's ok. I deserve anything I get."

"No. No not this. It was a mistake, a misunderstanding." Alice felt the weakness in Bette, she saw the sorrow.

Bette looked at Kit. "What do I do?" She had asked this question many times of her sister over the past few days. She was broken. And she didn't know how to fix herself.

"Right now you get something to eat." Kit said. Bette shook her head. "Please baby girl, eat something. At least some broth." She pointed to the kitchen. "Ivan brought you some soup. It's there on the stove."

Bette looked at the kitchen. "For you I'll have a little."

Kit smiled at her. "That a girl." She waited until Bette was in the kitchen. "Alice, I don't know how much more this can go on. She has hit the bottom. This is worse than when her mother left."

Alice looked at Kit. "Why? What happened then?"

Kit looked at her. "Let's just say there was serious therapy involved."

Tina was glaring at Dana. "I'm going to miss my plane." She had pushed Eric to make plans for her to leave that evening.

"Look. Alice said it was important. And if it's not, I'll buy you a new plane ticket... first class." Dana said quickly.

"I have work to do in New York." Tina was sitting on the couch like a child. Arms folded in front of her, lips pouty and her eyes set on a glare.

Alice came into the living room of Dana's house. "What you think you saw, was not what you saw." She blurted.

Tina looked at her. "What?"

"Candace and Bette were over long before you went to visit her." Alice moved towards Tina. "Bette was telling you the truth. She loves you."

Tina looked at Alice. She wouldn't lie to her, or deceive her in anyway. "How do you know this?"

"I went to Bette's. Kit was there. She told me what happened. And Bette, God, Bette." Alice looked pained.

Tina felt her heart tighten. "What about Bette?"

Alice knew in order to keep Tina from leaving she had to tell her the truth. "She's fallen apart. She's a shadow of herself."

Tina looked at Alice. "How do you mean?" She asked slowly.

"She came into the living room, and she looked like a stranger to me. Her eyes were dull and pained; there were bags under her eyes, like she hasn't slept in days. She looked...." Alice hadn't wanted to admit it, let alone say it. "Broken."

Tina had never thought anything could break Bette Porter. She looked at Dana. "I still have to go to New York." Was all she could think to say.

Dana and Alice felt like someone had kicked them. This was the end of Bette and Tina. "I'll call and get you a ticket." Dana mumbled.

Tina looked at them. "I'll be back once business is done there. I have things that need to be addressed here." She looked at Alice. "I just need time. Time I was promised." She said softly.

Bette stood in the bathroom. She had just heard Kit talking to Dana. Tina was gone. And there was nothing she could do. She looked at herself in the mirror. The person staring back at her was no one she knew. Tears fell from her eyes without effort. She continued to look in the mirror. "Who am I? What am I?" She tried to imagine life before that horrible night. Before Provocations, before the baby. Her heart missed Tina. Her body. "What do I really want?" She looked at the pills on the counter, the razor by the tub. She closed her eyes. Did she really want to die?

"No." Her voice was soft and weak. "No, I do not want to die." It was the first firm decision she had made in weeks. "I want me back." She thought about Tina. "I want us back too."

Kit was watching TV with Ivan. Bette looked at them cuddled together. She didn't know what was between them. She knew Ivan made her sister happy. And for now, that made her feel a bit of hope. She hated interrupting them, but she knew it was now or never. She stepped into the living room. "Kit?"

Kit looked up at her sister. "What's wrong?"

Bette swallowed anything she had left of her pride and fear. "I want me back." Tears flowed from her eyes. "I need help."

**Part 4**

The next evening Tina was stepping out of a taxi and heading into her hotel when a gentleman dressed in black stopped her. "Miss Tina Kennard?"

She looked at him. "Yes."

"Please come with me." He pointed to a large town car.

"I didn't call for a car." Tina said. She was tired from her trip, followed by a marathon of meetings. She was hungry and she wanted to get out of this suit.

"No Miss. But there is someone who would like to speak with you." He took her arm.

Tina started to panic. She didn't know anyone here in New York. "Let go." She pulled her arm away.

The door to the car opened. "Jesus, George I asked you to tell her I wanted to have dinner with her, not scare her to death." Peggy Peabody yelled as she emerged. She gave the man a horrible look and walked to where Tina was. "I'm terribly sorry. You know what they say about help."

Tina nodded. "Mrs. Peabody?"

Peggy Smiled. "Peggy, please." She motioned to her car. "Would you like to have dinner?"

Tina nodded. She didn't know what to say. She had only seen the woman once or twice and barely spoken to her. "Thank you."

"Wonderful!" Peggy said leading Tina towards her car. They got in and the driver mumbled an apology before closing the door.

"So, I heard you were here in New York doing some work on a film?" Peggy smiled.

"Uh yes." Tina said softly. How did she know that?

"Isn't New York wonderful?" Peggy asked, but before Tina could answer, Peggy pushed on. "Now I don't usually get involved in the affairs of people who work for me, but you and Bette seem to need a little help."

Tina stared at her. "Work for you?"

Peggy looked at her. "Of course. Bette is amazing. I asked her to come work for me. We're still working things out with the CAC, but I'm sure that won't take much longer. Franklin knows what's good for him." She smiled. "Would you like a drink?"

Tina nodded. "Anything you have."

"Wonderful, I'll have a Gin and Tonic." She pointed towards the mini bar. "Now where was I? Ah yes. You and Bette have to work things out before she can concentrate on my projects. It's a must. She needs to be happy!" Tina handed her a drink and made a double for herself.

"So your concern is for the work?" Tina asked.

"No. I like Bette. She's a smart cookie." She looked at Tina. "Now, since you two aren't talking what needs to happen to get you talking?"

Tina looked into her drink. "I don't know."

Bette sat in the office of a person she had never met. She hated this. She looked out the window. The sun was out and it was beautiful. This place bothered her. She looked at the diplomas on the wall. College, Medical school, awards. She frowned. Same old crap.

"I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting." Doctor Jamie Wallace entered the room. She was a pleasant woman in her mid fifties. She smiled at Bette. "You can take a seat, or do whatever you need to make yourself comfortable."

Bette nodded. "Are you Jamie?" She asked. She had assumed, stupidly, that Jamie was a man.

She smiled. "Yes. My parents wanted a son."

Bette nodded again, and found herself a comfortable place to sit, in a chair across from the desk. "Ok, now what?"

Jamie looked at Bette. "Are you comfortable in that chair?"

Bette looked at the chair. "Yes, why?"

"Well if you'll notice, I have lots of different chairs around the office." She motioned. There was a big comfy couch, a large overstuffed chair, a hard wooden chair, and the chair that sat in front of the desk. "I think where you sit says something about you."

Bette raised an eyebrow. This is where her sister thought would be good for her to go? "What does this chair say about me?"

Jamie looked at her. "The way you sit and where you sit tell me that you are a person who hides your feelings. You try to be the strong one." She walked around Bette. "You are practical and responsible.... or you like to think you are. You think you can handle any situation... am I close?"

Bette looked at her. "Yes."

"So is that why you are here?" She asked.

"My sister said this would be a good place to come." Bette said.

Jamie nodded. "Is that the only reason you are here?" She motioned to the door. "Because if it is, you can just leave before we waste each others time."

"Excuse me?" Bette asked.

"Look if you are not here for you, and you alone, this will do no good." She looked right at her. "I'm not going to pull any punches. You either have a reason to be here or you don't."

Bette looked at her hand. No ring. She had placed it in Kit's safe keeping. "I'm here because I lost myself." She said softly. "And I would like to get me back."

Jamie nodded. "No promises, but I would certainly like to help you if I can." She smiled warmly at Bette.

Tina sat at the most expensive restaurant she had ever been to. She looked at Peggy. "Order what you want." Peggy said closing her menu. Tina looked back at the menu. "Tina, have you tried therapy with Bette?"

Tina nodded. "We tried. Or I should say, I tried." She picked a dish from the menu and closed it. "I got very little effort from Bette." She took a sip of her water. "We tried group, but that backfired."

"Backfired?" Peggy asked.

"Candace was Yolanda's' ex girl friend. And Yolanda was in our group. That's how Bette met her." Tina found saying the names and talking about it, wasn't as hard as it used to be.

"I see. So therapy isn't the best option." Peggy frowned. "Do you want her back?"

Tina looked at Peggy. "I uh, I haven't decided." Tina said softly.

"Nonsense. You either love her and can't imagine life without her, or you can imagine life without her." Peggy looked at her.

Tina looked at her glass. "I can't imagine life without her."

Peggy smiled. "See that's not hard. The hard part is figuring out how to save your relationship." She looked over at the waiter. "I'll have the lobster."

Bette looked at Jamie. "You don't know anything. I don't loose control."

"You mean you don't let yourself loose control." She went to her little fridge. "Drink?"

"Diet?" Bette asked. Jamie took two cans of soda from her fridge and handed one to Bette. "You can't loose control. Not when you have to be the one who makes the decisions."

"Ah... You were the bread winner in your last relationship?" Jamie asked.

"Tina was trying to get pregnant and I was working." Bette said looking at the can in her hand. "For a time I felt like I was falling out of love with her."

"When did that feeling start?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know." Bette grumbled.

"Yes you do, think." Jaime sat on the edge of her desk; her look challenged Bette to find the time. Pick the moment.

"Maybe when she..." Bette let her sentence fall off.

"When she what?" Jaime challenged her. "Say it, if it's wrong you can say it's not, but don't stop yourself from saying anything here. Just because you say it, doesn't mean it's written in stone."

"When she was upset about using a black donor." Bette remembered being hurt. "It was a slap in the face. Why would she not want to raise a biracial baby with me?" Bette fought the tears back.

"I don't know. I can't answer these questions. Only she can." She reached over and picked up a new note book and pen. She handed them to Bette. "I want you to write these questions down. Questions you need to ask others. Questions you deserve to have answered."

Bette took the pen and book. "She left me because I'm biracial." She whispered.

"Who?" Jamie asked. "Tina?"

"My mother."

"So Bette was the first woman you were ever with?" Peggy asked, surprised.

Tina nodded. "There was something about her." She smiled. There was something about Peggy Peabody. She was warm and friendly and made you feel like you could tell her anything.

"Yes, I agree there is something about her. A softness just under the surface, but you have to look to see it. And a wonder about her. A passion." Peggy smiled at Tina.

Tina nodded. "Bette is amazing." She sighed. "I can understand why people would fall for her."

"Dear, do you think that Bette had forgotten you felt that way?" Peggy asked.

_"I, uh... get this feeling from you that you're so proud to be with me." Bette rolled over toward Tina and smiled. She put her hand on Tina's belly. Tina continues to stare up at the ceiling. "And it makes me feel really safe... and... loved. It's great." Bette smiled warmly at her. "But lately, I... haven't been feeling it." Bette pulled her hand away and rolls onto her back again. "So, I've just been, uh... trying to concentrate on myself, and, uh... been trying not to get scared about it." _

Tina looks at Peggy. "Yeah, I think I may have let her feel that way." She looked at her plate. "But I think she let me forget how important I was."

"What do you want me to say?" Bette looked at Jamie, angry. "I was twelve; I got up early to see if I had any gifts out yet. I heard my mother tell my father he would have to keep me because she couldn't deal with having a biracial child. She couldn't deal with what people would say." Tears fell from her eyes.

"And what you heard that day. Do you think that had anything to do with the way you took Tina's news of being uncomfortable with having a biracial baby?"

Bette shrugged. "I don't know."

"I think you do know." Jamie sighed. "Look, you have to admit things to yourself. No one else is going to do it for you."

Tina looked at her watch. She was exhausted. "Thank you so much for dinner." She smiled at Peggy.

"You're welcome." She handed her a card. "Here is the way to get a hold of me here in New York. Call me and we'll chat again."

"Thanks." Tina waved as Peggy pulled away. She turned and went into her hotel. She just wanted to shower and go to sleep.

"Shouldn't time be up at some point?" Bette asked, glaring at Jamie.

"Whenever you need a break. I'm your personal therapist." She smiled. "Right now you are all I have on the agenda."

Bette set her empty can down on Jamie's desk. "I need a break." She stood. "When do I have to be back?"

Jamie gave her a device that looked like a pager. "Push this button if you want to talk to me. I'll then meet you back here and we can talk. Otherwise you should be back here 9 am tomorrow."

Bette took the pager. "Ok." She headed for the door. She had her book and pen in one hand. "Write questions?" She asked.

"That and anything else you need to write." Jamie said.

Bette nodded. "Thanks."

Tina looked at the blinking light on her phone. A message? She picked it up and pushed the button. "Hi Tina. We just wanted to make sure you were ok. It's our fault we made you late for your plane yesterday." Alice's voice was soft.

"Well actually, it was... no it was definitely Alice's fault." Dana's voice came over the phone.

"Hey!" Alice yelled. "We just were making sure you were ok. And that you weren't lonely there in the big apple."

"So hurry and finish your business." Dana called.

"Please, please don't leave me alone with them for much longer. Hurry back." Shane's voice came on.

Tina couldn't help but laugh. "We love you Tina!" And then there was silence.

"Do you think you should have told her about Bette?" Shane asked. "Should she know about it?"

Alice shook her head... "No. She needs to have time with out worry."

"You think she's there not worrying?" Dana asked.

"Well I hope she is." Alice took a swig of Dana's coke. "Besides, Bette is under the best care. I know, I helped Kit find the place. We did a write up on the best mental health spas in a past magazine."

"Mental health spa? What's she doing there? Getting her brain polished?" Shane asked.

Alice rolled her eyes. "It's just a nice way to say loony bid."

"I thought that's what this place was called." Shane smiled as Dana gave her a dirty look. "Anyway guys, I gotta take off."

"See ya Shane." Alice said as Shane headed towards the door.

"Oh, you have to go?" Dana suddenly realized that would leave her and Alice alone, finally. Except she was suddenly scared.

"Yeah, places to see, ladies to have." She winked. "Bye Dana." And with that she was out the door.

Dana walked into the living room. She gave Alice a small smile. She sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "So what would you like to watch?"

Alice smiled. "Dana?"

Dana looked at her. "What?"

"We are finally alone." Alice moved closer. "Do you want to talk?"

Dana sucked in a nervous breath. "Ok."

"Well maybe you should start with why you kicked Tonya out." Alice said.

"Well, your ... uh... kiss made me rethink the whole getting engaged. I mean I hardly knew her. It would be better to wait until I got to know someone better." She looked at Alice. "And I uh, think she forgot to give Mr. Piddles his pills."

Alice put a friendly hand on Dana's arm. "I wondered about that myself."

"And I felt something when we kissed." Dana swallowed hard.

"So did I." Alice looked down. "Dana, I think I was always attracted to you, but I thought it was just because you are attractive."

Dana furrowed her brow. "Thanks I think."

"I mean, like there are people who you are attracted to when you see them and you think, oh yeah I would so do that." She looked into Dana's eyes. "Then there are those people you see and think that's a very attractive person, and then you get to know them and you think WOW, That's a person I would love to spend some quality time with."

Dana let it sink in. "I'm quality time?"

Alice smiled. "Definitely." She leaned in to kiss Dana.

"Wait." Dana put her hand on Alice's chest to stop her. "Are we... uh... Dating now?"

Alice looked at her. "I think we have to. At least try."

Dana nodded. "Ok." She moved her hand from Alice's chest to her back and pulled Alice into a warm and loving kiss.

Bette sat starring out the window. She hadn't slept very well the night before. She looked down at the notepad in her lap. It was crumpled and beat up. She had taken her aggression out on the notebook last night. Then she turned pen to paper. She wasn't sure why she had brought it with her. She was pretty sure the doctor didn't care if she brought it.

"Good morning." Jaime said as she entered the office. "How did you sleep?"

Bette looked at her. "Not so great."

Jaime nodded. "I hear that from a lot of our first night patients." She looked at Bette, the dark circles, sweat shirt and jeans told her this was a woman who really didn't know what to do next. She looked at the notebook. "Did you think of some things you wanted to ask, or just needed to say?"

Bette looked down at the notebook. "Yes." She gave a little laugh. "Actually, I need another notebook."

Jaime raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" She went around and pulled out another notebook and handed it to Bette. "Have you ever kept a journal?"

Bette shook her head, and then paused. "I tried when I was a kid. It was a faze and didn't last."

Jaime nodded. "Well perhaps it's something you might consider doing now."

Bette nodded. "Did you want to look at it?" She asked softly.

"Is there something in there I should read? Or do you want my approval?"

Bette looked up sharply. "I don't need anyone's approval." Her defenses rose quickly. She frowned at her therapist. "Why would you say that?"

"Why do you jump to defense so quickly over that?"

Bette looked hard at the woman before her. "I do not now nor have I ever needed anyone's approval."

Jaime nodded. "Ok. Let me ask you this. Why do you think that is?"

Bette looked at her. "I'm a strong enough person that I can make my own decisions."

"Ok. So then in all your past relationships did you make all the decisions?"

"No." Bette thought for a moment and remembered the birthing pool. She looked down. "Maybe I made a lot of decisions that didn't really leave room for question."

"I see. And did anyone in these relationships fight back?"

Bette nodded. "Tina did. I'm sure the others did, but I don't think I cared."

"Not like you did with Tina?"

Bette nodded. "Everything with Tina was different, even from the beginning." Tears welled in her eyes. "I just wish I could take back what I have done."

"We can't take back the things we have done. But we can try to make amends and learn from our mistakes." Jaime picked up a few pieces of paper. "I took the opportunity to read about your CAC and the exhibition, as well as the protests and the debate you gave."

Bette looked at her. "Is that standard procedure?"

"Only when I need to." Jaime looked at her. "Did the infidelity start before or after Tina lost the baby?"

Bette looked away. "After." She whispered.

"Before or after you were hurt openly on a public forum?" Jaime knew she had to push this woman, if she didn't this was all for nothing.

"After." Her voice was barely audible.

"So tell me, how did you feel while it was happening?"

"Hurt... confused... scared... alone." Bette could no longer stop the tears.

"I meant the infidelity." Jaime said.

Bette looked at her. "So did I."

Later Bette found herself walking the grounds. She couldn't figure out how she felt. She felt beaten and bruised inside. But she also felt like maybe she could heal. And maybe she could be the woman Tina fell in love with.

"Bette?" A man's voice brought Bette out of her thoughts.

She turned and her mouth almost dropped open. "Eric?"

Eric smiled. "Hi."

"Hi?" She looked at him. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, my sister comes here sometimes when life gets her down." He looked at her. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

She gave a small smile. "Life got me down."

He nodded. "I see." He didn't know what his place was here. "I heard Provocations was a hit. One of the best exhibits you have ever done."

"Where did you hear that?" Bette asked.

"Tina." He looked away.

"You've seen Tina recently?" She asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"Yes." He didn't know how much Tina wanted her to know.

"Oh." She looked at her feet. She decided she needed to leave the area. "Well I had better get back in."

He nodded. "I understand."

Bette hurried away from him and into someone she hadn't expected. "Marina?"

Marina looked up from her chair. "Bette?"

Bette looked at Marina's appearance. She was haggard and tired. "This is probably a dumb question, but are you ok?"

Marina gave Bette a small smile. "I was more than I little stupid."

"But you came here for help." Bette said softly. She sat down in the chair next to Marina.

"I was brought here." She looked at Bette. "I tried to overdose on a some pills. I couldn't stand that Jenny didn't want me and couldn't forgive me."

"Oh God." Bette put a comforting hand on Marina. "Don't ever give up."

"I'm not as strong as you Bette." Marina looked at her hands. "I could not do what I needed to hold on to Jenny." Tears flowed down Marina's face.

Bette hugged her. "You can still keep trying."

"No. It's done for Jenny and me." She looked at Bette. "Don't let Tina get away."

Bette sighed. "I'm not sure if it's too late for that."

Marina shook her head. "Not for you and Tina. You have something."

A week later found Tina at LAX. She looked at her watch. "Where are they?" She had told Dana and Alice they could pick her up from the airport, but so far they were almost an hour late. She had tried Alice's cell, but couldn't get through.

"Excuse me." Tina said bumping into someone.

"Excuse me... Tina." Kit said surprised.

"Kit.... Hi." Tina smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"I was seeing Ivan off. He's got a gig in San Fran." She looked at Tina. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just getting back from New York. I was there on business." Tina looked at her watch.

"Waiting for someone?" Kit asked.

"Yeah, Dana and Alice. They said they were going to pick me up today." She sighed. "Maybe I should get a cab."

"I'll give you a ride." Kit smiled. "Or you can drive."

Tina nodded. "Let me try Dana and Alice one more time." She picked up her cell phone and dialed Alice's cell.

"It's yours, get it." Dana said pushing Alice off the bed. "It's disturbing me."

Alice crawled over to where her cell phone lay and picked up. "Hello?" She said, groggily.

"Alice?"

Alice's eyes popped open. "Tina?"

Dana popped her head over the side of the bed. "Tina?" She mouthed.

"Oh shit we're late." Alice said.

"Yeah you think?" Tina said annoyed. "Look I'm at the airport and Kit is here. I think I'm going to drive her back to her house. Do you think you two can pick me up there?"

"Yeah, fuck, yeah. Tina we are so sorry... we had a late night... fuck. I'm so sorry." Alice kept apologizing into the phone.

"Yeah, yeah, ok I forgive you." Tina rolled her eyes. "So meet me at Kit's."

"Ok. No problem." Alice said before Tina hung up. She looked at Dana, who had half her body hanging off the bed. "I can't believe we over slept."

Dana looked at her. "I can't believe we fell asleep in the middle..."

"Before the middle Dana." Alice said tossing her cell phone over by her jeans.

"Before?"

"Way before."

Bette looked at Jaime. "Thank you for personally escorting me home."

"Well I was coming down to the area to visit my ex girlfriend anyway." Jaime said as they walked into the house.

Bette looked at her. "You're a lesbian?"

Jaime laughed. "Yes I am. Well I am currently not seeing anyone, but when I am."

"I didn't realize."

"Why should you?" Jaime laughed. "Actually the woman I referred you to is my ex. She is wonderful with your kind of cases."

"My kind of cases?" Bette asked tossing her bag onto the couch.

"The kind where parents contributed to the over compensation in life which results in a mental break down." She smiled. "In not so many words. She's a wonderful therapist and handles a lot of Lesbian and Gay singles and couples in her practice."

Bette nodded. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No thanks, I want to get going." She gave Bette a small hug. "Don't be so hard on yourself all the time. You are not perfect and you never will be, accept that and move on."

Bette returned the hug. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." Jaime said before turning back to her car.

Bette closed the door and turned towards her home. She looked around. Upon driving up, she noticed Tim's house was for sale. She wondered what was going on. She walked outside and felt the warm sun on her face, and she allowed herself to enjoy it. She looked over and noticed Tim's back yard looked empty. "Hmm"

Bette looked over at the pool. It had recently been cleaned. She knelt down and dipped her fingers in it. She remembered Jaime's words. 'Do something you normally would do. And try to do it everyday, until you find you again.'

Bette looked around, the neighborhood was dead. She quickly slipped out of all her clothes and into the sun warmed water. "Mmmmm." She couldn't resist the feeling. Why had she never done this before? She swam to the end near the radio and turned it on.

"Uh, Tina could you swing by... You ... uh... Bette's place?" Kit asked.

Tina looked at Kit as they sat at the red light. "Will she be there?"

"No." Kit said. She was expecting a call from her baby sis any day now to tell her to pick her up.

"Are you sure?" Tina asked.

Kit gave a soft laugh. "Yeah I'm sure."

"Ok." She flipped her turn signal on. "Kit, how is Bette?"

"I think she's gonna be ok." Kit said.

Tina furrowed her brow. "Where is she?"

Kit decided Tina had a right to know. "She's up at a mental health spa."

"She checked herself into therapy?" Tina asked, shocked. "Why?"

Kit looked at her. "Do you really have to ask?" Her voice was a bit hard. "After you last saw her, she lost it."

"Oh God. Alice told me she wasn't looking so good. But I didn't think it was that bad. Is she ok? "Tina asked, suddenly feeling a bit panicked. Why hadn't Alice or Dana told her?

"I think she will be. Alice and I took her up to some tiny coastal town. Where LA Magazine says is the best place if you've had a breakdown." Kit shrugged. "She asked me to help her and that's all I knew to do."

Tina nodded as she headed to her home. It was still Tina's home. She felt it. And now she felt guilty. Because she lost her temper over a big misunderstanding, Bette had a breakdown. "Can I go with you when you pick her up?"

Kit looked surprised. "You want to come with me?"

"Yes, if that's ok."

"Let me run it by Bette. I don't think she needs any shocks right now." Kit said, though inwardly she was happy. This could be a step in the right direction.

Tina pulled into the driveway. "Ok. I understand."

They walked in together and heard the radio. "Must be Shane." Tina said. "She sometimes uses the pool." She walked towards the back, and stopped when she saw Bette. Bette was floating on her back, letting the water rock her. It felt good, but she knew she would have to get out soon.

Tina watched as Bette turned back on her stomach and began to take long leisurely strokes. "Tina." Kit said as she walked up to her. Tina placed her finger over her lips. Kit looked in the direction Tina was. "I didn't know she was home. I wonder how she got here?" She whispered.

As Bette moved through the water, she suddenly felt like there were eyes on her. She stopped and looked around. Kit placed a hand on Tina and quickly shoved her into Bette's view. Then excused herself into the other room. "Tina?"

Tina walked to the edge of the pool. "Bette." She couldn't help but look over the body of the woman before her. She was more beautiful now than she ever was. Tina felt herself wanting Bette. She wanted to forget these last several weeks and fall into her lover.

Bette suddenly realized she was naked. She hadn't thought to bring out a towel. She moved closer to the pool's edge in an attempt to hide herself. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was soft.

"Kit had to do something here, so we stopped." Tina smiled inwardly as she realized Bette was a little uncomfortable. "What are you doing here?"

"I came back early." Bette was starting to feel chilly.

"So you quit?" Tina asked, hoping she was wrong.

"No. I felt I needed to return to work and my therapist said I was in a place to do that." Bette tried to control her defenses.

"So you went for five days and now you're cured?" Tina sounded disappointed. She had hoped Bette would put more into her therapy than that.

"No. I see someone 3 times a week to start, then as things progress I will cut it down." Bette looked over at the note book she had tossed on the patio chair. "I have something for you."

"What?" Tina asked.

"I uh... can you get me a towel?" Bette had to give in and ask.

Tina gave her a small smile. "Sure." She walked into the house and grabbed Bette a towel for her hair and her big terrycloth robe. She brought them out. Bette looked at her. "You have to get out of the pool for these to be of any use."

Bette had never been nervous about being naked in front of Tina before. She didn't know why she was now. She pulled herself out of the water and moved towards Tina. Tina smiled, she couldn't help herself. She handed Bette the towel first. "For your hair." She instructed.

"Thank you." Bette took the towel and quickly dried herself then wrapped her hair in it. She knew Tina was watching her, looking at her. Her body responded, without her consent.

Tina was pleased... She saw Bette's body respond to the caresses of her eyes. She handed her the robe. "I thought this would help you stay warm."

"Thanks." Bette wrapped herself in the robe. She moved past Tina and picked up the notebook. "I was supposed to use this to write down questions I had for you. I ended up answering some of them myself and there are some answers for you in it." She handed it to Tina. "You need to read it."

Tina took it. "Alright."

"Then if you would like to talk, or come to therapy with me..." Bette left off. She remembered when it was the other way around and wished she had paid more attention then.

Tina nodded. She wondered just what was in this notebook. "Ok." She looked at the book in her hands. They stood there in an awkward silence.

"Hey Baby sis, when did you get home." Kit said coming out onto the patio.

"Just a little while ago." Bette said, grateful for the break in silence.

"You were supposed to call me." Kit said hugging her sister.

"I know. I got a ride from my therapist. I was ready to come home." She gave a half hearted smile.

"Well you surprised me." She looked from Tina to Bette. "I uh, came over to water your plants."

"Thanks Kit." Bette looked at her sister. "You've been here for me. I..."

Kit nodded. "No problem. That's what big sisters are supposed to do." She smiled.

Tina looked at her feet. "Uh, Kit, should I call and have Dana and Alice pick me up here?"

"Oh, shit. I totally forgot. It felt..." She stopped herself. "Anyway, uh you can take me home, if you're done here."

Tina looked at Bette. She would never be done here. "I'm ready when you are. But it's really ok to call and have them pick me up here."

"You don't have to. I can take you where you are staying." Bette found herself saying.

Kit looked from one to the other. She hoped this was a good sign. "That might work better for me. I just remembered I have a meeting tonight and I want to make sure I get to it."

Tina looked at Kit. She knew what her would be sister-in-law was up to. But even if Tina could forgive Bette, now was not the right time for her. "You go ahead and go Kit. I can call and get Dana and Alice to come here. I'm sure they have already left anyway."

Bette looked down. "I am going to get dressed." She picked up the clothes she had dropped by the pool and walked into the house.

Kit looked at Tina. "You couldn't just get a ride with her?"

"Look Kit, I am not ready." Tina looked at her. "Why is everyone so ready to protect her? I was the one hurt here."

Kit moved forward. "So was she."

Tina took a step back. "I know." Her voice was soft. "I do. But I'm not ready."

Kit relaxed. "I know girl. But at some point you are going to have to move back in to Bette's life, or all the way out."

Tina nodded. "I know."

Alice and Dana pulled up in front of Bette and Tina's house. "Wow, they are in there together. Alone." Dana said.

"Maybe it's a good sign." Alice said making a move to get out of the car.

"How can it be good if we are picking her up and not dropping off her stuff?" Dana looked at Alice.

Alice sighed. "I just hope it is."

Dana took Alice's hand and kissed it. "So do I."

Bette sat on the couch, Tina in the chair. They were watching mindless television and drinking iced tea. Bette wanted to say something to Tina, but she didn't know what to say. "How's the tea?"

"Good." Tina replied. She wanted to say a million other things, but the words would not leave her mouth. Tina caught a good look at Bette. She sat with her bare feet pulled up under her. Her jeans were crumpled and she wore a white tank top Tina had picked up for her when they had gone on a date to the Pier in Santa Monica. Her hair was curly and still damp. Tina longed to be able to move to the couch and snuggle up to the woman she loved, but these weeks had made that impossible.

"Can I get you some more?" Bette asked, feeling Tina's eyes on her.

Tina looked at her watch and frowned. "Ok."

"I'm sorry you have to be here." Bette said before she could catch herself.

"No. I... I'm just hot in these clothes." Tina said referring to the suit she was wearing.

"You still have some clothes here. Jeans and a t-shirt." Bette said softly.

Tina thought for a moment. "Let me change and I'll be back."

"Maybe we should give them more time in there together." Dana said quickly.

"I don't want to take too long. Tina will know we were trying to keep them together in there." Alice said looking at Dana. "And you know we are already on her shit list."

"I know." Dana looked at Alice and leaned in to kiss her. "You're on my good list." She grinned.

Alice smiled. She felt very lucky to be here and now with Dana. She wasn't sure why she hadn't figured it out before. "Mmm, I'm very glad I am." She leaned in to kiss Dana again.

"Tina?" Bette asked coming down the hall. She stopped at the open door of their room. She saw Tina standing there, jeans and no top. "Oh." She sucked in a breathe. Tina still had that effect on her.

Tina looked at Bette. "Trying to find something to wear." She made no move to cover herself. Tina had been trying to push the scenes of that night from her head. This was the first time she had been back in the bedroom since that night.

Bette moved to the dresser and pulled out one of Tina's tanks and handed it to her. When Tina reached for it, their hands met and they both felt the sparks. Bette moved to pull her hand back, but felt Tina's hand tightened.

Tina quickly closed the space between them and before she could stop herself, kissed Bette. It was a hungry kiss. She had missed her lover. Bette's body responded quickly. She wrapped her arms around Tina and felt her lover's body pressed against her own.

"Ok, we have to go in now." Alice said, almost breathless. She had no idea how long they had been parked outside the house having an impromptu make out session.

Dana looked downhearted. "Ok."

"We'll pick this up later." Alice grinned.

Dana and Alice left the car and walked to the front door. They rang the bell.

Bette had one hand entangled in her lover's hair, and one hand on Tina's back. The kiss had become more passionate. More needing. Tina had long since dropped the shirt Bette had handed her and her hands were moving to undo Bette's pants.

The bell stopped them. Bette looked at Tina. "I'll get it." She reluctantly let her lover go and quickly headed for the door.

Tina stood for a moment, catching her breath. "I'm not ready for this." She grabbed her shirt and slipped in over her head. She grabbed her suit in one hand and headed into the living room, where Bette was opening the door.

Bette looked at Alice and Dana. "Hello."

"You look much better." Alice said warmly.

"Thank you." She looked from Alice to Dana. "So do you two." She smiled.

Tina grabbed her bag and headed to the door. She looked at Alice and Dana. "Ok, I'm ready." She said quickly.

"Tina?" Bette asked.

She looked at Bette. "I'll read it. And then I'll call you." She closed her eyes to break contact with Bette. "I'm sorry." She said before she turned and practically ran to the car.

Bette's eyes welled with tears. "Ok." She whispered.

Alice wanted to come in and comfort her friend, but knew they had to get Tina out of here. "I'll call you Bette."

Bette nodded and closed the door as Alice and Dana turned to head back to the car. She then walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. She turned her attention to the TV and tried not to think.

Alice and Dana got into the car and sat down. "I don't want to talk about it!" Tina said a bit harshly. Alice and Dana looked at one another. This was not what they had hoped at all.

Tina sat in the guest room at Dana's staring at the notebook Bette had given her. She wanted to know what was in it, but she was afraid to open it. She sucked in a breath and opened the cover. She saw Bette's handwriting. As she flipped through the pages she saw how the handwriting was angry, then gentle and angry again. She saw tear stains and scribbles and more tear stains. She turned the pages back to the beginning.

_This whole thing is stupid. What's the point of writing my feelings down, when I don't even know my feelings. That's not true. I know I hurt. I long for Tina. Ok, questions for Tina are... What can I do to make this up to you? Who am I kidding? There is nothing in the world I can do to make this up to her. Nothing. All I can do is hope she may someday forgive me and at least allow me to be her friend. But if she is my friend, could I watch as others took her out. Others kissed her and caressed her? Hell no. So maybe the question is. Even though there is nothing I can do to make it up to you, can you find it in your heart to someday forgive me. And maybe trust me again?_

_So then why did I do it? Good question. I did it because... partly because I was hurting and I was afraid I was falling out of love... I was scared... I was... I was losing control and while none of it is an excuse, it is all part of the reason I did what I did._ _I hate myself for fucking up the best thing I have ever had in my life. I need to forgive me too I guess._

"Tina?" Alice called poking her head into the room. "We were going to watch a movie..."

"No thanks. I've got some reading I need to do." Tina looked up from the book and smiled. "But Thanks."

"Sure." Alice smiled back and closed the door.

Later that night Tina was still reading. She was beginning to see a side of her lover she never knew. Why had no one told her about Bette's mother? Why had she never learned about the suicide attempt? No wonder Bette needed to be in control.

_So Eric and Tina are seeing one another again. That's ok. I won her from him once before, I can do it again. Of course I see the draw for her. She could marry him legally. And they could have kids without even really trying. He makes a good living and they seem to enjoy each others company._ _Why not,_ _it makes sense. Beside, he was good to her. And I'm sure he would never hurt her. He said very little today, but I knew what he was getting at. I screwed up. And he's going to take back what was once his._

Tina frowned. When had Bette seen Eric?

**Part 5**

The next morning Tina found herself tired, but very aware of what needed to happen next. She walked into the kitchen, where she found only Dana. "Where's your better half?"

Dana looked at her. "Oh, Alice slept at home last night." Dana sounded down.

"Is there a problem?" Tina asked.

"No. I don't think so." Dana looked back at the paper she had been trying to read. "Do you think there is?"

Tina smiled. "Alice and you have been practically inseparable for a few weeks. Maybe you two need a little space." She picked up the phone. "If you're worried call her and ask her to go to lunch or something. Talk to her." She dialed.

Bette glared at the phone for ringing so damn early on a Saturday. "Hello?"

"Bette?" It was Tina.

"Tina?" Bette sat up.

"Look I think I would like to go to therapy with you. Call me and let me know when."

"I start on Monday." Bette said softly. "I'm sure that she would be happy to see us together anytime after that."

"Great." Tina glanced at Dana, who was doing a bad job of trying to look uninterested in the conversation. "I will be free any time you need. I am wrapping up this script and I'm not sure what my next move is."

"You don't have to work if you don't want to." Bette said without thinking. "Our money is available to you."

Tina smiled. "I know. But we don't know what the future holds. And I can't count on others to support me."

Bette felt a pang of hurt. "I'm not exactly others." She said softly.

Tina wanted to kick herself. "I didn't mean..." She sighed. "Call me when you know when the appointment is."

"Ok." Was all Bette could say.

Tina resisted the urge to say she loved her. "Bye."

The rest of the weekend went by slowly for Bette. She did some of the gardening and swam. Watched TV, anything she could do to kill time. So when the alarm went off Monday morning she was thrilled. She couldn't wait to get back to work.

"Bette!" James called practically running to her. He smiled. "How are you?"

She smiled back. "I'm good. Not great, but good."

"So you are back?" He asked.

She nodded. "So what has fallen apart?"

"There is a huge discussion as to what is going on with the next exhibit, and what will happen if it's not the groundbreaking art Provocations is." James was rattling off the problems as fast as he could when Bette spotted someone she knew.

"Eric?" Bette handed James her briefcase and things. "Take this to my office and bring me all the paperwork. I'll get started on it as soon as I can." James nodded and headed off.

"Bette." Eric looked at her. He decided not to bring up their little meeting at the mental health spa. "How's it going?"

"Good." She smiled, but wondered what he was doing here. "You've decided to come see our show?"

"Yes I have heard wonderful things about it." He turned back to the painting in front of him. "It's definitely thought provoking."

"That's the point." She looked at the painting briefly. "But this is not what you are here for."

He looked at her. "No, it's not. You hurt Tina very deeply."

"This is really none of your concern." Her voice stayed even, but cool.

"I care about Tina. I cared about her before you seduced her." His voice grew hard.

She raised an eyebrow. "I seduced her? You got your information from what source?"

"I know what happened. She forgot something at your office she went back to get it and you seduced her." Eric looked away. "Did you know I was ready to marry her?"

Bette looked at him. "Eric, we were friends. I would have never asked her out if I had known that. But I want you to know. She came to me. Not the other way around." She relaxed. "I'm sorry I had anything to do with hurting you."

He looked back at Bette. "How could you take her from me and then hurt her the way you did?"

Bette shook her head. "I'm not sure how I could hurt someone as amazing as Tina. That's why I have therapy 3 times a week." She looked at Eric. "Are you in love with her?"

He sucked in a breath, "I never stopped loving her."

Bette nodded. "Eric I like you. But I love her. And I intend to do what's best for Tina and myself."

"I'm what's best." he said quickly. "And I intend to prove it." And with that he walked away. Leaving Bette wondering what to think.

That afternoon found Bette in the therapist's office. "I have your paperwork here. Jaime had some very nice things to say about you." Patricia Colms smiled at Bette.

"I liked working with Jaime too." As much as Bette liked therapy. "Tina would like to come to therapy some time this week."

Patricia looked over the paperwork. "Tina, yes. That's a good idea." She looked up and met Bette's eyes. "But not until you are ready. You bring her when you are ready and not before."

Bette looked at her. "When will I be ready?"

Patricia smiled. "I can't tell you that, Bette. Only you can."

Bette frowned. "I want to work on this and bring her back home as soon as possible." There was urgency in her voice.

"Why is that?" Patricia asked.

Bette looked at her hands. "I miss her. I love her. It's not a home without her."

"But why as soon as possible? Why not when you are both truly ready. Why not take the time to get to know each other again." She looked into Bette's eyes. "What are you afraid of?"

"Eric." Bette said sadly.

_Tina and Eric walk into the art opening at Bette's gallery. Several people were milling around, checking out the paintings, photos and sculptures. They headed towards Bette, who was talking to Alice and a couple of others._

_**"**__Excuse me, Bette." Eric said, smiling as Bette turned around. She smiled back. "This is my girlfriend, Tina Kennard. She heads up Development up at Alphaville. Tina, Bette Porter." Bette and Tina shake hands. Tina looked at Bette. _

_"Nice to meet you." Bette said smiling._

_"Hey. Nice to meet you." Tina is taken in by Bette's beauty. She feels something stir inside her, but she ignores it._

_"Bette, we were wondering, um... how would Catherine Opie feel about us blowing up that print there to about 5 by 6 feet?" Eric asked, pointing at the print._

_"Well, why don't you ask yourself? She's right over there." Bette points to Catherine Opie, standing nearby, talking to Alice and some other patrons. Eric looked at Tina questioningly. _

_"I think I'll just stay here." Tina says smiling at him. _

_"Okay. Excellent." He said before heading over to talk to Catherine Opie._

_"You like the artwork here?" Bette asked warmly._

_Tina nods. "I do. I've always been interested in art, but it wasn't my talent so I just look." She felt stupid._

_"Art is to be appreciated and some of the best observations about art have been made by those who never studied." She smiled warmly at Tina. She was very attracted to the beautiful blonde woman beside her. _

_Tina blushed slightly. Was this woman flirting with her? "Maybe sometime you could explain a little more about some of these pieces."_

_Bette smiled. She was flirting back. "I would love to. My door is open." She glanced over and noticed one of her artists beginning to panic. "Please excuse me. I think I need to help avert trouble." _

_Tina nodded. "I understand." She felt a piece of her go with the beautiful art gallery owner and she wondered why._

_"She's straight." Alice whispered in Bette's ear as they headed towards the artist._

_"Are you sure?" Bette whispered back._

_"Definitely." Alice said. "But she's cute."_

_"Definitely." Bette replied before greeting the artist._

Tina sighed. Why had she just thought of that? She looked out the window. It was a beautiful Los Angeles day. She wanted to be at home in the pool. Home. "I want to go home." She said to no one.

"Tina?" Eric opened the door. "Hey you hungry?"

She smiled at him. "A little, why?"

"I was thinking maybe we needed to grab a bite and go over a few little problems that crept up over the weekend." He was keeping his voice steady, but his eyes were filled with hope.

"Sure. I have to stop thinking about..." She caught herself. "I need to eat."

_Bette surveyed the artist dinner. All seemed to be going well. Another successful evening. She moved through the room, greeting some of the attendees, gave Alice a comforting touch on the shoulder as she passed, then walked over to Tina, who was looking at a photograph hanging on a nearby wall. She felt pulled towards the beautiful blonde again._

_"Are you coming to sit down?" Bette asked. She gave Tina a quick once over with her eyes. _

_"Yeah. I just really like this one." She smiled at Bette. They both turn and look at the painting. _

_Bette looks at Tina. She smiled as she reached up to touch Tina's hair. "Oh. You've lost your earring in your hair, here". Bette gets the earring out of Tina's hair and holds it on her palm for Tina to take._

_"Thank you". Tina said softly. Bette smiled sweetly at her as Tina took the earring. Both felt, but didn't acknowledge the spark that ran through them as their hands touched. They look back at the picture. _

Tina looked up."What?"

Eric smiled. "We're here."

Tina looked out the car window. Lunch she was having lunch with Eric to discuss the developments in the script. "Right." She got out of the car and followed him into the restaurant. They sat down and Tina watched the waiter tell them the specials, but she didn't hear it. She was thinking about Bette and her therapy.

"So Eric is the man Tina was dating before you two met." Patricia reviewed.

"Yes. And I saw him today and he had a lot to say about Tina." Bette was noticeably upset.

"Anything you want to share?" Patricia asked.

"He said he was in love with her. That he was better for her. That he was going to ask her to marry him before I had seduced her and taken her away from him." Bette felt sore inside. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

"Is that what happened? Did you seduce her and take her away from him?" Patricia asked.

"No." Bette glared at her. "It was consensual. I know she was interested in me before..."

_Tina walked into Bette's office. "Hi."_

_Bette pulls Tina's earring from an envelope and walked around her desk. And holds the earring out on her palm for Tina to take. "I could've sworn I watched you put this back on". Bette moved very close. _

_Tina smiled, and went to take the earring. "I thought so too." Bette gently closed her hand on Tina's and leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met in a soft gentle kiss. Tina blushed._

_"I would like to see you sometime." Bette smiled as Tina takes her earring._

_Tina nodded. "I would really like that." She felt light headed. _

_Bette wanted another kiss, but was afraid to move too fast. "When are you free?"_

_"Tomorrow?" Tina suggests. She wanted to tell her, now._

_"Eight o'clock?" Bette asked. She picked up a card off her desk. "My numbers." She handed it to Tina._

_"Eight is good." Tina slowly took in a breath and then let it out. She pulled all her courage together. She reached out to take the card and found herself pulling Bette to her in a more heated kiss. Shocking Bette and making her smile all at once. When the kiss broke Tina was blushing deeply. "I'll make you dinner."_

_Bette was tingling all over. Something she hadn't felt in a very long time. "I look forward to it." _

Bette sighed. "I miss Tina but I really want the best for her."

"So what Eric said has you questioning your place in Tina's life?" Patricia asked.

"No." Bette said quickly. "I... know I love her."

"Yes but where do you belong in her life? Or rather, where does she belong in yours?" Patricia watched as Bette waged an internal struggle with herself.

"There is a small part of me that feels like Tina could have what she wanted if she went with Eric." Bette wiped away a tear. "But the rest of me says she belongs with me. As my partner."

Patricia looked at Bette. "It's easy to see you love Tina. That is not something anyone can question. And I think you need to sit with Tina and talk to her. You two need to make decisions together if you intend to stay together."

"I know." Bette frowned. "But we are barely speaking right now."

"OK, look. Here is the deal. It is either important to the both of you to sit down and have a conversation or it is not. And if it is, you find the time and place to do it." Patricia looked at her calendar. "Then when you two have done that, we'll set up a session for the three of us and take it from there, ok?"

Bette nodded. "Ok."

Dana was starring at the phone when Tina came in with Eric. "What are you doing?" She asked setting her briefcase down.

Dana looked up startled. "Oh, uh, nothing." She smiled at Tina, then her eyes moved to Eric. "Hi."

Tina suppressed her smile. "This is Eric. We are going to get a little more work done, but I just couldn't sit in the office anymore."

Dana nodded. The phone rang and she grabbed it. "Alice?" Her face fell. "Sorry you have the wrong number."

Tina walked over and put a comforting hand on Dana's back. "Alice still hasn't called?"

"No. And I left messages at her house, her office and her cell phone." Dana looked like she might cry. "I don't know what I did wrong."

"You're clingy for starters." Shane said slipping into the house. She grinned. "Dana I'm kidding."

"That's not funny." Dana said with a pout.

Tina sighed. It almost felt back to normal around here. "Shane, be nice."

Shane grinned. "I'm always nice. Ask anyone."

"And she means anyone." Dana shot at her.

"Children!" Tina said raising her voice. "Now I have got to get some work done. Can you two behave if I go in the other room?"

"She started it." Dana grumbled.

Tina rolled her eyes. "I don't care."

Shane looked at Eric. "I'm Shane."

He nodded. "Eric."

Shane looked at Tina. "The Eric?"

"Wait, what the Eric?" Dana asked. She had once again missed what was going on.

"Oh yeah you missed the story because you were with Tonya..." Shane said.

"Ugh. Do you need to bring up ALL my mistakes?" Dana grouched.

Shane moved to Dana's side. "Hey you gotta make mistakes, if you don't, you miss the good stuff."

Tina looked at Eric. "This way." She whispered and pointed to the living room.

They snuck into the living room. Tina kicked off her heels and sat down on the couch. "Sorry, a little lesbian melodrama."

"They are all uh.... Lesbians?" Eric asked sitting down beside her on the couch.

She smiled. "Yeah.

"Oh." He looked at his hands. He had taken off his wedding ring. "Tina, I think we should talk about something."

She looked at him. "What about?"

"Tina I love you." He held his breath and looked at her.

Tina starred at him. "Are you serious?"

Alice walked into the kitchen to find Dana and Shane sitting at the table watching the phone. "Hi guys."

Dana looked up and smiled. "Where were you?"

Alice looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"All day I've tried to call you." Dana getting up. "I called your office, but they hadn't seen you, and I left countless messages on you machine. And then I tried your cell."

Alice opened her purse and pulled out her cell. "Shit. It's not on. I wondered why it was quiet all day." She looked at Dana. "Hey, were you worried about me?" She smiled and took Dana into her arms.

"I was. And then I thought I had done something wrong." Dana said softly.

"Oh." Alice looked into her girlfriend's face. "I'm sorry." She kissed Dana and felt her passion take over again.

"Whoa, ok, I'm going into the living room where things are normal and less, kissy." She headed towards the living room.

"Tina I have never stopped loving you. I would never do to you what she did." He brought his hand up to her face and brushed back a lock of hair. "The date you broke with me to go out with her.... I was going to propose to you. I wanted to marry you."

"Whoa." Shane said softly and backed out of the living room. She hurried into the kitchen. "Hey guys." Dana and Alice were locked in a passionate kiss. "Hey!" She said a bit louder. "There is something going on in the living room you need to know about."

Alice broke the kiss. "What?"

"I'm not sure but I think Eric is trying to propose to Tina."

"Eric... I didn't know." She was reeling.

"I know." He took her hand. "I want to be with you." He kissed it. "Let me try again. We could have a family." He brought his lips to hers and kissed. "I love you."

Tina sat there in shock. "I..."

He smiled. "Think about it. And call me tomorrow."

"Ok." She whispered.

Eric was getting into his car in the drive when Bette drove up. She got out and walked towards the door. She looked at him. "Hello." She said coolly.

He smiled. "Hi."

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I'm putting right something that has been very wrong." He said before getting into his car.

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't let him see how he was getting to her. "Thanks for your help." She said before heading to the door. She rang the bell as he drove away. "Fucking bastard." She muttered as Dana opened the door.

"What?" Dana asked.

"Sorry." Bette smiled at Dana. "Hi."

"Hi."

"Can I come in?" Bette said after a few seconds.

"Oh..." Dana sighed. "I'm having one of those days."

Bette gave a small laugh. "That's ok." She stepped in and followed Dana into the kitchen.

"Something to drink?" Dana asked.

"Iced tea?" Bette sat down at the table. "You always bring your guests into the kitchen when they come over?"

"Today is special." Shane said coming into the kitchen. "Hey."

"Hi." Bette smiled at her and took the glass of tea from Dana. "Ok guys. Is Tina here?"

"Uh, yeah." Dana said trying to think of what to say.

"Tina are you nuts?" Alice asked as they sat in the living room. "You don't know what's going on with Bette and then you bring Eric here?"

"We were going to work." Tina defended herself. "I didn't know."

"What that he wanted you?" Alice rolled her eyes. "You're hot girl. Of course he wanted you."

"Really? I'm hot?" Tina asked.

"Of course." Alice hugged her. "You have to figure out what you want for yourself and then make a decision."

"I know." Tina wiped a tear from her cheek. "I want none of this to ever happen. I want to have never put Bette in a position to meet Candace."

"Oh." Alice hugged her again. "Tina that's not your fault. Bette was having her thing."

"She was feeling the way she was feeling partially because of the way I was acting." Tina felt she needed to defend Bette. "She never meant to hurt me."

Alice looked at her. "I know that. She loves you."

"I have to think." She wiped her eyes.

Shane came in. "Uh Alice,"

"Yeah?" She looked up at Shane.

"There is someone here.... and she would like to see Tina."

Tina looked at Shane. "Bette?"

"Uh Yeah. Look I can tell her to go if you want." Shane said softly.

"No. I think I want to talk to her." Tina tried to smile.

"Ok. Sure." Shane left the room.

"I'm ok Alice. I want to do this." She smiled reassuringly at Alice. Alice nodded and got up as Bette entered the room.

"Hi." Bette said as she looked over the woman she loved. Tina was upset about something. She longed to hold her and make it all better.

"Hi." Tina smiled. "Sit."

Bette sat down on the couch. "I think we need to talk."

Tina nodded. "We do."

After a few moments, Bette laughed. "I'm not sure we've ever had a problem saying something to each other."

Tina smiled. "I know."

Bette looked at her. "I want to apologize, but it's just not enough."

Tina placed two fingers on Bette's lips. "Let me talk. Ok?" Bette nodded. "We've both made mistakes these past few months. I forgot who I was." She smiled. "I forgot who we were. I should have never quit my job to try and get pregnant, because that's what my whole existence became about. And I'm more than that."

"I know." Bette said quickly. "That's as much my fault."

Tina looked at her. "We both made mistakes and we can't take them back. But we can learn to accept what needs to be accepted and move on."

"Move on?" Bette asked. "Move on how?" Her heart was beating hard.

"Right now I need to be alone and to find who I am." She looked at her hands. "I need to stop being Bette's girl. And I need to be me."

Bette felt as though her whole life was closing in on her. "I see." She said softly. The tears she had been trying to hold back fell.

"I don't want you out of my life. But I want time to find out where you fit in my life." She tipped Bette's face to hers. "I have a lot of choices to make and I need to make them based on what I want."

Bette nodded. "You're right." She kept her voice as even as she could. "I want to be your friend, but for right now I think I will need space from you."

Tina blinked. "What?" She hadn't thought Bette would run from her. They had said from the beginning they would stay friends no matter what happened.

"I need space." Bette repeated. "You can come and get what you need...." She paused. "No. I think you should have the house. I can't stay there."

Tina starred at her. "But."

"I'll get the things I need out tonight. And you stay in the house. I will think about the best way to deal with the finances and you think about it too, it's all as much yours as mine." Bette stood. She looked at the stunned woman before her. "I love you Tina Kennard, and I always will. This doesn't change that." She let the tears flow freely. "I hope you find everything you are looking for in life. And we will be friends, but it will take some time and adjustment." She leaned down and kissed Tina deeply. "Goodbye." Bette turned without another word and left.

Tina sat, dumbfounded. She thought Bette would give her the time she needed. Maybe fight for her. Pain and fear washed over Tina. "Oh God." Her body shook with sobs. Alice ran into the living room to find her friend lying on the couch crying harder than she had the night Alice found her in her apartment. She moved to the couch and took Tina in her arms and held her.

Bette had gotten back to her house on auto-pilot. Not thinking, just moving. She pulled her suitcases out and began packing clothes, and personal effects. She had packed two suitcases put them in the car and was standing on her sister's doorstep before it hit her. She no longer had Tina. She rang the door bell.

"Baby sis." Kit answered the door.

"It's over." Bette whispered as the tears flowed down her face. She moved into Kit's hug and they walked into the house together. Ivan grabbed the bags and brought them in.

Kit closed her eyes and sighed. "Oh baby, it's gonna be ok."

Two weeks later, Tina picked up the mail as she entered the house. She saw an envelope, return address the CAC. She opened it to find an invitation to the closing of the Provocations exhibit. She opened it.

_You and a guest are respectfully invited to the grande finally of the CAC's _

_Spring show Provocations. This is an invitation only black tie event. We look_

_forward to seeing you there and thank you for your support.'_

Tina noticed the bottom, written in ink.

_T_

_I hope you can attend. I'd like to see you._

_Miss you_

_B_

Tina smiled... "I think I can make sure I'm there." She walked into the living room and dropped her things just as the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Tina?" Alice's voice was on the other end.

"Uh. Yeah, who else?" She asked heading into the kitchen.

"How are you?" She asked, nonchalantly.

Tina knew she was fishing. "I'm ok. Tired. Freelance is a bitch."

Alice could sympathize, before she was picked up by the mag, she was a freelance writer. "Tell me about it. But it pays the bills."

Tina laughed. "True. So what did you call for?" She asked pulling out a few pots and pans. She was starving.

"Just uh wondering what you were up to this week." Alice asked.

"Not much." Tina replied. "You?"

"Oh, uh. Not much. Dana and I have been doing the home body thing. It's kind of weird."

Tina laughed. "I think it's cute." She filled the pot with water and set it on the stove. "You feel like going out tonight?"

"I dunno. Let me ask Dana how she feels." She turned to Dana who was nodding her head emphatically. Alice laughed. "I think that's a yes."

"Great. I'm just going to have a little pasta and then you can pick me up?" Tina asked.

"Sure that will give us time to get ready." Alice said. "Later."

"Bye." Tina hung up the phone and grabbed some pasta from the cabinet...She heard the door and answered it. Eric was standing there. "Hi."

He smiled. "Hi."

"Come in." She motioned for him to follow her. And they walked into the kitchen. "How are you?"

"You'd know if you would answer my calls." He said sitting down.

"About that. I'm sorry." She smiled at him. "I've been thinking about things. I just needed a little time."

"Ok. Fair enough. Come to any conclusions?" He asked, smiling hopeful.

She looked at the invitation. "Yes I have. Would you like to go to an art exhibit this Saturday night?"

"Like a date?" He asked.

She smiled. "Like a date."

"I'd love to."

Alice looked over at Tina. "So tell me again why Eric was at your house when we picked you up."

"He dropped by." Tina watched the dance floor as Shane danced by with the woman of the evening. "How does she do it?"

"She's amazing." Alice said.

"Sickening is more like it." Dana said in disgust.

Alice turned to Dana. "Jealous?"

"No." She smiled at Alice. "I used to be."

"Why did he drop by?" Alice asked, turning back to Tina.

"I'm not sure." She looked at Alice. "I know you feel like you have to watch after me, but I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?" Alice asked. She was convinced Tina had lost her mind two weeks ago when she told Bette they needed to be friends.

"Al, it's Tina's life, if she wants to go back to Eric, she can." Dana said sadly.

"I'm not going back to Eric. He and I are friends."

"Is that really all?" Alice asked.

Tina motioned to Shane. "I'm tired of this discussion. I want to dance."

"Yeah?" Shane asked coming over.

"Would your friend mind if I stole you for a dance or two?" She looked at Alice. "I need a break."

Shane laughed. "No problem?" She questioned the beautiful nameless woman with her.

"No problem." The woman echoed.

"Thank you." Tina said taking Shane's arm and following her out to the dance floor.

Bette watched as her sister prepared for her set. She was glad Kit was there for her. She didn't feel ready to face the gang. She had seen Shane dance by with some pretty woman earlier and she had ducked a little so she wouldn't be seen. She envied Shane's ability to put feelings aside and just enjoy herself. She had kept an eye out all evening for the rest of them, and somewhere inside her she wanted a glimpse of Tina. She wanted to know if she was happy. She had decided that night she went to talk to Tina; she was putting her happiness and needs above her own. Even though there have been times over the last weeks, she had wanted to do what she wanted. Selflessness didn't come easy to Bette.

"Hey baby girl." Kit said smiling. "The place is electric tonight."

Bette nodded. "Good crowd." She glanced over at Ivan and smiled. She wished she knew what exactly was going on between her sister and this amazing person. Ivan smiled at her and went back to making sure Kit's things were in place.

"Who you looking for?" Kit asked.

"No one. Just trying not to be seen." Bette watched the crowd.

"Ok." Kit said knowingly and went back to helping Ivan.

Bette watched as Shane headed her way again, only she had a new partner, Tina. Bette watched carefully as they passed by. She watched as they talked and their body language. Tina seemed happy. A piece of Bette felt like it was dying. She wanted Tina to be happy... with her. She looked down at her hand. She was still wearing the ring. She wasn't ready to take it off yet. She turned her attention to the stage area as her sister picked up the microphone.

Bette found herself swept up in the CAC's goings on and worry about future projects. As well as the new respect from Franklin. So she felt unprepared for the evening ahead when she opened her eyes Saturday morning. "Damn." She dragged herself into the kitchen and opened the cabinet to find no coffee. "Kit?"

Ivan walked into the kitchen yawning and rubbing her eyes. "Morning. Your sister is still sleeping."

"Oh." Bette wasn't sure what to make of this. This was new, as far as she knew. "You wouldn't happen to know if there is any coffee?"

"Sorry, I don't think so. I can run out and pick some up." Ivan smiled.

Bette shook her head. "Nah, I think I'll run by Starbucks before I head to the CAC."

Ivan leaned against the counter. "Can I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"You could run by the Planet. Ever since your sister bought out Francesca you haven't really gone into the Planet. I think it would mean something to her." Ivan smiled. "I know there are things going on, but someday you'll have to face them."

Bette narrowed her eyes for a moment before responding. "I appreciate the help. But I need to do things in my own time."

"Fair enough." Ivan said. "I'll pick up coffee today." She said before turning and heading back into Kit's room.

Bette went back to her room and got her clothes ready for tonight, then showered and dressed in her jeans and tank top. She got her things together and headed out the door. She followed the road and before she knew it she was in front of the Planet. Her auto-pilot must've kick in she decided. She got out and walked in slowly. She didn't see anyone and so she headed to the counter. "I need the biggest Café Au Lait I can get." She smiled.

"Bette?" Shane's voice was behind her.

She turned. "Shane, hi."

"Hey thanks for the invite tonight." She smiled. "I had to go buy an outfit."

Bette found herself relaxing. "Can't wear some old thing to the gala of the year." She took the coffee the woman behind the counter handed her.

"Wanna sit? Or are you in a hurry?" Shane asked.

Bette glanced at her watch. She had time. "That would be nice."

Shane ordered, then they walked to the tables. They sat at a little table. "So how have you been?"

"Ok. For the most part." Bette took a drink. "I feel a little gutted I guess."

"Hey you know, things work out for the best in the end. You gotta believe that." Shane picked up her drink. "It'll get better."

"You think so?" Bette asked more out of interest than the need to be reassured.

"Oh yeah. Hell yeah." Shane smiled. "You know you and Tina were kind of my ideal couple. I want what you have."

"Had." Bette corrected her. She had never really known this about Shane.

"Nah man. Have." Shane smiled that smile that makes you smile. "Trust me."

The conversation with Shane had stuck with Bette all day. Shane was like no one Bette had ever met. She smiled. She hoped Shane found what she was looking for in life.

"Bette?" James stood in the door.

"Huh?" She looked at the door.

"I asked if you were ready. Some of the artists have begun to arrive." He smiled. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm ok." She stood. "I'll be right out."

"Great I'll let them know." He said before closing the door.

After dressing, Bette emerged from her office and made her way towards the exhibit, where the artists were beginning to congregate. She made her way from one to the other, telling them what a pleasure it had been working with them and how much she enjoyed the exhibit.

Tina looked at Alice and Dana. They were very cute together. She looked at Shane, who was playing it stag tonight. She smiled back to Tina. Then she looked at the man standing next to her. He was handsome and charming. Very sexy. And in the middle of a not so good divorce if she understood the gossip at work. She felt for him. She sucked in her breath and gathered her courage. "Ok, let's do this."

Inside Bette was standing off to the side, watching the guests begin to arrive. They were all nicely dressed and most of them very rich. "Just the way the CAC likes them." She muttered to herself.

"What?" James asked, bringing her a glass of champagne.

"Oh nothing. Just being cynical again." She smiled at him. "You look good tonight."

He blushed slightly. "Thank you. So do you."

"I wanted to let you know you've been the best assistant anyone could hope for."

"Thank you." His smile was getting bigger.

"I told Franklin you would be ready to get more involved with the next show. Maybe make a few decisions. A little bump in responsibility, a little bump in title, and a little bump in pay." Bette was always happy to help those who truly cared about the art. And James did.

"Really?" His eyes shown with tears. "Oh God, Bette... Thank you." `He hugged her without thinking.

She found herself laughing. She hugged him back. "James you don't need to thank me. You deserve every bit of it."

Tina entered and looked around. "Wow. What a turn out."

Alice nodded. "I thought it might be packed. The mag wants a story on it."

"I'm sure Bette would be happy to help you." Tina said, scanning the crowd.

"Let's go over here." Eric said pointing to a less crowded area. He turned to the others. "We'll see you later." He almost pulled Tina over to the corner. "What's up with this?"

She looked at him. "I told you it was an exhibit."

"You didn't say it was Bette's." His jaw clenched. "Why am I here?"

"You're here because I invited you." Tina knew what he was getting at, but couldn't bring herself to admit it.

"You invited me because you are proud to be with me, or to make her jealous?" He growled.

"I invited you because you are my friend. And I didn't want to come alone." She placed her hand on his arm. "Your being here has nothing to do with Bette." She lied.

He looked at her. "Ok." He smiled. "I'm sorry."

Bette noticed Tina and Eric in the corner, standing close. She sighed and turned to move in another direction when someone caught her arm. "Bette?"

"Alice. I'm so glad you could come." She smiled at her friend.

"The place is packed." Alice said looking around.

"We had such wonderful support for the exhibit." Bette said trying to avoid looking at Tina and Eric.

"All because of you." Alice said warmly.

"Thanks." Bette smiled and squeezed Alice's arm.

Tina had watched as Bette calmly made her way through the gallery. She wished more than anything she had spoken to her. She turned to the painting in front of her. It was beautiful. She wasn't sure she could explain why, but there was something warm and comfortable about it. She had been starring at it so long she had lost track of time. Suddenly someone's hand was by her face and she looked up. Bette was standing in front of her, looking as beautiful as ever. She couldn't help herself so she smiled softly.

Bette held out her hand. "Your earring was in your hair."

Tina reached out and placed her hand on the earring. "Thank you." She gently took the earring out of Bette's hand. "It happens once in a while."

Bette nodded and turned to look at the painting with Tina. "You like it?"

"I do. But I'm not sure why." Tina replied. "It's familiar."

Bette nodded. "It should be. It's the piece you liked so much seven years ago in my studio."

Tina turned and looked at Bette. "I should go."

Bette nodded. "I understand." She glanced over at the table holding a tray of glasses and noticed Tina's earring. "Tina..." She took a step towards her.

Tina turned and looked at Bette. She saw the earring in Bette's hand. "Did I leave that?"

"Yes." Bette said slowly reaching out her hand, earring in it.

Tina stepped forward and placed her hand on Bette's. "I would have come back for it." She said softly. She took a step into Bette's personal space. She leaned her head in towards Bette, her lips almost touching her cheek. "I was planning on coming back." she wisped into Bette's ear.

Bette felt her body tingle. Tina's hot breath on her cheek and neck was intoxicating. "You were?" She wasn't sure she understood. Come back for her or the earring? Tina gave a soft smile and took her earring. Then she turned and walked away.

Bette needed a break and she found herself heading towards her office. "Bette?" A familiar voice called to her. She turned. It was Eric.

Bette turned towards Eric just outside her dark office. "Yes?"

Eric was handsomely dressed as he stood beside her. "I was wondering what you were doing tonight."

"I was going to file something and then head home." Bette replied.

"I meant, with Tina. I saw you talking to her. She is here with me." His voice was cool.

"It's my job to mingle with the guests." She said coldly. "What do you want?"

"I'm telling you now, Tina is mine." His voice was hard, brimming with anger.

"No. Tina belongs to herself. And IF she ever allows anyone close to her again, they will be lucky." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for this whole mess. What happened was wrong and I have ended up paying with my life. Tina was everything to me and I didn't realize it until it was too late." She looked at her hands. "You could have anyone you wanted. Why Tina?"

"But Tina is out of your picture. You need to get on with your life. There will be others." He looked at her. "Besides I thought there was no such thing as a committed lesbian relationship."

Bette turned around, eyes flashing with anger. "You know nothing about Tina and me. For me, she was the end all be all. And until I say otherwise, she always will be." She clenched her teeth. "Now please leave or I will call security."

"Call your security. Just remember I'm the one going home with Tina. Not you." He said smugly before turning and walking back to where the guests were.

Bette took a deep breath and headed into her dark office. She flipped on the small light on her desk and jumped back, startled at the figure on her couch.

"Am I really your end all be all?" Tina asked quietly. She had been there, intending to make Bette squirm a little. But she heard everything that had been said out in the hall. Now she just wanted to know how Bette felt.

Bette looked down. She was caught off guard and emotionally open. "Yes." She said softly.

Tina stood and moved towards Bette. "Am I your life? Is that how you think of me?" She asked.

Bette looked up and tried to see Tina's face, but the light cast shadow over it. "Yes." She was afraid of what might happen with this line of questioning.

Tina stepped close to Bette. "I'm not sure I can understand completely." She took Bette's hand in her own. "I don't understand what I did wrong." She placed Bette's hand over her heart. "But what you did or didn't do or what you say or don't say doesn't change how I feel here."

Bette felt her heart beating in time with Tina's. "What does that mean?" She dared ask. She was afraid to know, but she had no choice but to ask.

Tina brushed away a lock of Bette's hair from her face. "It means I love you. And what I said was wrong. I can work through this with you. If you can give me time to heal."

"All the time you need." Bette thought for sure her heart would explode. "But what about Eric?"

"I never told Eric we were anything more than friends." She caressed Bette's face.

"So there is nothing there?"

"No." Tina's brown eyes were clear and bright. "It's you."

Bette leaned in and gave Tina a sweet soft kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." Tina smiled at Bette. "So we need to talk and decide what the next move is."

Bette moved her hand from Tina's heart and ran her fingertips over Tina's face. "You are so beautiful baby."

Tina blushed. It had been a very long time since Bette had touched her like that. "We need to talk about what's next." She repeated.

Bette smiled. "Dating? Moving in? We've done it all. Do we start over?"

"I think we need to start with talking and maybe a little dating." Tina smiled.

"Breakfast tomorrow?" Bette asked.

"Ok. Breakfast at the Planet before work." Tina leaned in and kissed Bette gently on the lips. It took everything she had not to make it more.

Bette wrapped her arms around Tina's waist and pulled her close as they kissed. She could feel Tina's body against hers and she wanted more.

Tina broke off the kiss. "Ok." She smiled. "Slowly."

Bette nodded. "Slowly." She released her hold on Tina. "Tomorrow, Breakfast."

Tina smiled coyly. "So will you be taking me home?"

Bette raised an eyebrow. "Ms. Kennard, are you flirting with me?"

Tina looked into her lover's eyes. "I'm asking you to come home with me. To stay."

Bette felt light headed. "With Pleasure."

They lay together on their bed, entangled in each other. Bette began to help Tina out of her dress when Tina stopped her. "Wait."

"Why?" Bette asked, her voice almost a whisper.

"Baby we need to slow down and take it one day at a time. I want you back here, but maybe we shouldn't do this... just yet." Tina caressed Bette's face.

Bette nodded. "So what are the rules?" She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"Can we just be together tonight?" Tina asked.

Bette hated herself for the way she felt. "Yes." She lay down with Tina in her arms. She kissed her lover's forehead. "We need to just be together before we can BE together again."

Tina snuggled into Bette. "Thank you." Bette felt Tina against her and put aside her longing. This could be enough. She and Tina drifted off to sleep wrapped together.

**The End**


End file.
